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can you love someone and hurt them

by Prof. Guy Emmerich PhD Published 3 years ago Updated 2 years ago
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Lovers can easily hurt the beloved without intending to do so. Because the lovers are so significant to each other, any innocent remark or action can be interpreted in a manner that the other person did not intend and hence be hurtful.

Love is closely connected with vulnerability: the ability to hurt and to be hurt. Although some kinds of hurt in love are intended, most of them are not. Nevertheless, someone who deliberately hurts another person can simultaneously claim to love that person.Oct 9, 2010

Full Answer

What to say to someone who has hurt you deeply?

“Thankyou" is the best answer to say to that person because he will be the biggest lesson of your life. Because he has made you stronger by throwing you off the cliff but not realising that you have a parachute on your back.

What to do when someone hurts you emotionally?

Steps to follow when someone hurts you emotionally

  1. Acknowledge it. The first step in dealing with any hurt feelings is acknowledging that you hurt. ...
  2. Work through your feelings. Remember, everyone hurts sometimes. ...
  3. Don’t dwell on it. ...
  4. Accept reality. ...
  5. Avoid blaming yourself or them. ...
  6. Avoid arguments. ...
  7. Take time away. ...
  8. Don’t control or try to change the other person. ...
  9. Don’t plan to take revenge. ...

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How to make things right when you hurt someone?

  • If you’ve struggled with pornography, get rid of any printed pornographic material. ...
  • If you’ve harmed your spouse by not caring for your health, take some practical steps to do something about it. ...
  • If your spouse is worried about your activities when you’re not together, become transparent. ...

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How to confront someone who has hurt you?

The Most Productive Way To Tell Someone They’ve Hurt You

  1. Organize Your Thoughts First. When you’re sitting with uncomfortable feelings it might be tempting blurt something out right after an argument, but Dr. ...
  2. Give Them a Heads Up Before You Talk. Forshee explains that it’s impossible to predict what kind of baggage someone might be bringing with them in any particular moment.
  3. Consider Your Environment. ...

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Do you intentionally hurt someone you love?

Yes, you can intentionally hurt someone you love. If you've hurt someone you love intentionally, the motive often comes from differing perspectives or the desire to exert one's independence. When we've hurt someone we love, it's important to apologize to the person you've hurt regardless of intentions.

Why do I keep hurting someone I love?

We hurt the one we love for several reasons: 1) Unconscious re-creation of emotional trauma – we all experience various degrees of emotional hurt and trauma growing up. Unfortunately, we form part of our identities around whatever we experience, be it love, distance, drama, or verbal or physical abuse.

Can you love someone so much that it hurts?

Well, yes. Loving someone so much that it hurts is possible, and there are reasons why people indulge in that. A major reason why people tend to be loving too much in a relationship is that they don't feel worthy.

What to do when you hurt the person you love?

How To Cope With Guilt When You Hurt Someone In A RelationshipSincerely Apologize.Recognize That You Can't Change What Has Already Happened.Remember That Actions Speak Louder Than Words.Work on Improving Yourself.Don't Focus Entirely on the Negative.Consider Couples Therapy.Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)More items...

Can someone hurt you and still love you?

Love is closely connected with vulnerability: the ability to hurt and to be hurt. Although some kinds of hurt in love are intended, most of them are not. Nevertheless, someone who deliberately hurts another person can simultaneously claim to love that person.

What hurts the most in a relationship?

You don't trust There are two aspects of trust that are important in relationships. One is trusting your partner enough to know that s/he won't cheat on you or otherwise hurt you — and to know that he or she trusts you that way, too.

Should true love hurt?

Turns out yes, it's normal for love to hurt. And you don't have to be in an abusive relationship for this to happen. In fact, even good relationships can bring some aching discomfort at times. Caring deeply about someone else is enough to transform emotional pain into physical pain — the science says so.

Is true love worth the pain?

True love doesn't hurt, it heals. It brings happiness to your life. It empowers you to become the best version of yourself. A real love is supposed to feel euphoric and spontaneous.

Is it unhealthy to love someone too much?

When intense love blinds your sight and makes you act inappropriately, such intense love is too much. Anything in excess is harmful. Love isn't an exception. Loving someone too much is dangerous for you, your partner, and your relationship.

What is a toxic relationship?

A toxic relationship is one that makes you feel unsupported, misunderstood, demeaned, or attacked. On a basic level, any relationship that makes you feel worse rather than better can become toxic over time. Toxic relationships can exist in just about any context, from the playground to the boardroom to the bedroom.

How do you fix a relationship after hurting someone?

Rebuilding trust when you've hurt someoneConsider why you did it. Before you embark on the process of rebuilding trust, you'll first want to check in with yourself to understand why you did it. ... Apologize sincerely. ... Give your partner time. ... Let their needs guide you. ... Commit to clear communication.

How do u fix a broken relationship?

No matter how you dice it, going through a rough patch when you live together is stressful.Plan a weekly 'couples meeting' ... Learn to compromise. ... Spend time with friends outside of your relationship. ... Engage in affectionate physical contact. ... Don't be hooked on romance.

What does it feel like to hurt someone you love?

Normally, when you hurt someone you love, you feel horrible and guilty. , there are also individuals who are in so much psychological pain due to remorse, guilt, or mental health issues that they cause harm because they feel unworthy of love. Hurting the Ones You Love.

How does being overprotective affect someone?

You may hurt someone you love by gaining too much control and thinking that such a person may hurt you emotionally. Everyone loves boundaries. If you don't respect the boundaries of someone you love, such a person may be emotionally hurt.

What happens if you don't respect boundaries?

If you don't respect the boundaries of someone you love, such a person may be emotionally hurt. Your behavior may also lead to hurting a person you love. If your behavior is influenced by sadness, anxiety, trust issue, and grief, you may unintentionally hurt someone you love.

Can you convince someone in pain to seek therapy?

Recommendations. It is not easy to convince someone who is in psychological pain or distress to seek therapy. If they are hurting you, they are doing so from a source of pain that can be difficult to understand. There are resources available to help loved ones who are the target of pain inflicted by someone they love.

How do you know if you are unhappy in a relationship?

Your partner may seem to avoid you, become unusually distant or irritable, or show less physical affection towards you. These warning signs may suggest that they are unhappy in the relationship. A relationship can be equally damaged if the conflict is mishandled. It’s not about intent; it’s about impact.

Who said that insecure feelings are bound to surface from time to time in even the most stable relationships?

Tony Robbins, a relationship expert, says that “Insecurities are bound to surface from time to time in even the most stable relationships. You can’t control your partner’s emotions, but you can be the most supportive, loving version of yourself possible.”. Awareness is the first step toward emotional attunement.

How can someone say they love you and then hurt you?

How can someone love you and hurt you? The short answer is, there is no rule that people do not hurt the ones they love. In fact, in life, we hurt the ones we love the most. Sometimes people consciously hurt the ones they love for some good reasons.

Can someone love you and still hurt you?

Yes. It’s possible someone can hurt you and still love you. If someone you love hurts you deeply, then there are many possible intentions behind their words, actions, and behaviors that caused you to feel hurt.

When someone you love hurts you deeply?

The one thing that unites us as human beings is the fact that we all have been hurt at some point in our lives – even those who think they haven’t. This pain can manifest as anger, sadness, and resentment towards the person who inflicted it.

Reasons someone say they love you and then hurt you

1. The most common reason is that the person who says they love you may not be acting on their true feelings. They might be scared about showing these feelings, or they might not feel safe enough to act on them.

What does it mean when you love someone so much it hurts?

Those people say that when you love someone so much it hurts it must mean that you are still experiencing the romance which is very different from the exact love. In their mind love is something that is calm. It is some kind of quiet strength, while romance brings you to the point where you are going through some kind of dramatic emotional state.

Why does love hurt?

Real one. Love hurts because you care. This one is very simple, but it is also very true. When you love so strong it means that you care for that person. You care if he or she is okay during the working hours. You care if he or she is safe when you are apart from each other.

Why does it hurt to write "It hurts me"?

It hurts me because of how beautiful it is, how human, how unique. It pains me because it changes lives, because not everyone will be able to love like that, because there are people that loved and were hurt. It's painful because we age, because we forget, because we die.

What is the sign of love?

Single sign. That’s all you need when you love someone so much it hurts. Just a single sign from the person you love and it will be alright. It has to be alright. Believe me, because when you love someone so much any other way is no way at all. It must be him or nobody else.

Can I love someone more than I love myself?

And yes, of course, you can love someone more than you love yourself and no, not only when we talk about your kids. You can love your boyfriend or girlfriend, your husband or wife, more than you love yourself. So when you love someone so much it can be really painful knowing that they’re going through some difficulties in their life, ...

Does love hurt when you are afraid of losing someone?

Some people say that love hurts only when you are afraid of losing the person you have next to you. But, I really don’t share that opinion because I was in a long-term relationship in which I didn’t have any fear of losing my partner but it still hurt me. Love hurt me.

What does it mean when you fall out of love?

It might simply mean that the couple has grown apart and cannot seem to make their way back together again. I actually think that this could be a good thing for some couples, so that they do not waste any time on something that is not right for either one of them.

How to be in love the first time?

Being in love the first time just happens. After that, it actually takes work. Love = Giving. You need to BOTH make an effort to give to one another. Giving means compliments, little notes of appreciation, thinking about what you can do to be helpful and thoughtful, etc. It also means having FUN: going out to fun things together the way new couples do. Make a special time to just go out w/o talking about who will pick up the kids from soccer. Be romantic, too. What would a new date or a new wife do who feels a bit shy w a new partner? Take a plunge and think of what you can say or do that would be romantic and exciting. All of the above matters. One more thing: You have both spilled your guts about the negative. Now, search inside for the positive and SAY IT.

How to change your partner's heart?

Go and get a bible. Sit down and read new testament. Pray to God that your partner will submit his life to Christ. You must submit your life to Christ. God can heal this and change your partners heart. Try this.

How to deal with your wife for 12 years?

What you did for 12 years — abuse your wife verbally and emotionally — it is good that you are now honest about it but the most important thing you can do for yourself, her, and your children is get therapy to make the changes you need. Don’t for a minute think that these changes are just a matter of “attitude.” There is a reason why you were hurt and cold all this time. You need to understand your feelings so that you can both honor them (ie, not sweep them under the rug) and deal with them in a healthy way. Next, you need to learn good coping mechanisms when bad feelings come up. Then you need to learn where all this is from and make the distinction between whatever happened to you growing up and your wife’s Nothing less will do it. No amount of “anger management” will address these basic issues. Good luck.

What to do if your fiance is confused?

Perhaps she isn’t really confused but is afraid to admit to herself the real reason. I suggest she get counseling to help her figure this out. You don’t want to start a marriage that was wrong from the beginning. In the meantime, I also suggest you get counseling to get help on what it might be in your own personality that has presented an obstacle for your fiance. In fact, please seek a person with a degree in Marriage & Family Therapy. This is because that is the only profession that deems it fine for the same therapist to see both members of a couple alone. In this way, she or he will get a much better picture of what could be the problem.

What is the cornerstone of intimacy?

Knowing the other person, genuinely knowing , is the cornerstone of intimacy. So you have allowed one person into your inner world, in the course of being together, and each step of the way you felt understood. This person, in return, continues to be intrigued by that process of knowing you, and wants more.

How long did I live common law with a man?

I lived common law with a man for 6 years, he told me in June he was not coming home and would not be coming back. We had a good relationship. I realize now I pushed him to do some things he did not want to do and did not respect or consider him like I should have. I have been doing alot of soul searching. I am far from perfect but I love him and really want him back. Is it possoble and whar should I do

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Why Do We Get hurt?

Hurting The Ones You Love

  • There are many ways that individuals can hurt those they love. The extent of that pain generally depends on the sensitivity of the other person and how invested that person is in the relationship. That is why children in particular have the capacity to hurt their parents more than any other person on the planet. Those we love the most can hurt us t...
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Recommendations

  • It is not easy to convince someone who is in psychological pain or distress to seek therapy. If they are hurting you, they are doing so from a source of pain that can be difficult to understand. There are resources available to help loved ones who are the target of pain inflicted by someone they love. Speaking to a licensed mental health professional can help you sort things out and put thin…
See more on betterhelp.com

Conclusion

  • We all hurt people sometimes, but as long as you're aware of your actions and take responsibility for them, you can heal your relationships. Enjoying lasting and fulfilling relationships is possible--with the right tools. Take the first step. FAQs What to Do When You Hurt the Person You Love? Sometimes, you may find yourself in some situations that deeply affect your emotions. This ma…
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1.You Always Hurt the One You Love | Psychology Today

Url:https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/in-the-name-love/201010/you-always-hurt-the-one-you-love

19 hours ago  · Love is painful because of the strong connection between social and physical pain. In 2003, for example, psychologists discovered that the parts of the brain that process physical pain are also involved in social pain, thus offering an explanation as to why it “hurts” when we break up with someone we love. What is bad perception? adj. 1 expressing or meaning a refusal or denial. a negative …

2.The Causes Of Hurting Someone You Love - BetterHelp

Url:https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/relations/the-causes-of-hurting-someone-you-love/

13 hours ago  · Love is closely connected with vulnerability: the ability to hurt and to be hurt. Although some kinds of hurt in love are intended, most of them are not. Nevertheless, someone who deliberately...

3.Can you love someone, yet intentionally hurt their feelings?

Url:https://www.quora.com/Can-you-love-someone-yet-intentionally-hurt-their-feelings

24 hours ago Yes that’s exactly what it is . When you love someone you do whatever you can to avoid them from feeling any form of hurt . If someone continuously does things that hurt you despite you expressing its …

4.When Love Hurts: How Hurting Someone You Love Hurts …

Url:https://www.regain.us/advice/love/when-love-hurts-how-hurting-someone-you-love-hurts-your-relationship/

14 hours ago Answer (1 of 80): The simple answer is yes. Yes you can love someone who has hurt you and still think of them as a wonderful person (which to a certain extent can be harmful.) And yes you can still love them …

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2 hours ago  · Yes. It’s possible someone can hurt you and still love you. If someone you love hurts you deeply, then there are many possible intentions behind their words, actions, and behaviors that caused …

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Url:https://www.quora.com/Can-you-love-someone-who-has-hurt-you

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