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how do you communicate with someone who is assertive

by Sebastian Ortiz Published 3 years ago Updated 2 years ago
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How do you show assertiveness?

  • Assess your communication style. ...
  • Plan your response ahead of time. ...
  • Don't let guilt get in the way. ...
  • Use positive self-talk. ...
  • Take time to breathe. ...
  • Embody an assertive stance. ...
  • Rehearse with someone you know and trust. ...
  • Believe in your worth.

Here are some tips for practicing being assertive:
  1. State your point of view or request clearly.
  2. Tell the other person how you feel as honestly as you can, and remember to listen to what they say as well.
  3. Think about the tone and volume of your voice – how you say it is as important as what you say.

Full Answer

How to practice assertive communication?

  • The event. Tell the other person exactly how you see the situation or problem. ...
  • Your feelings. Describe how you feel about the situation and express your emotions clearly. ...
  • Your needs. Tell the other person exactly what you need from them so that they don't have to guess. ...
  • The consequences. ...

What is assertive style of communication?

Assertive communication is a style of communication that is based on expressing your thoughts, feelings and opinions in ways that are firm and unambiguous. The clear and firm expression of your needs through assertive communication does not let down the needs, opinions and feelings of the people around you.

How to communicate assertively and respectfully?

  • You should still be respectful of other people’s needs and schedules, but you shouldn’t avoid making your own needs or concerns known just to accommodate someone else. ...
  • Establishing Boundaries goes hand in hand with expressing needs. ...
  • If your value system and priorities are not straight in your mind, it may be difficult to articulate them to others. ...

What is an example of Assertive communication?

What is an example of assertive communication?

  • Aggressive: “You idiot, I can't believe you bought all that crap. You always mess things up. You're selfish.”
  • Passive: “Oh well, it isn't important.” ( Or doesn't bring the issue up at all)
  • Assertive: “I would like to know a good time we could talk about the budget. I am concerned.”

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How do you deal with someone who is assertive?

Try not to interrupt them. Actively listen, look alert and don't get distracted. Control your body language – don't let your body speak for you instead of your mouth. Don't fidget, shrug your shoulders, use submissive facial expressions or body language.

What is assertive communication?

Assertive communication is defined as “the ability to speak and interact in a manner that considers and respects the rights and opinions of others while also standing up for your rights, needs, and personal boundaries” (Pipas & Jaradat, 2010, p. 649).

What are 3 ways you can be an assertive communicator?

What is an example of assertive communication?"I completely understand what you're saying but I have to disagree”“I feel frustrated when you are late for meetings. ... “Could you explain the reasoning behind your decision, so I can try to understand what you're doing”More items...

What are the 7 actions for assertive communication?

Quick LinksDon't be afraid to say no.Take care with your tone.Learn the importance of discussion.Be mindful of your body language.Use the language of assertiveness.Script what you want to say.Pick your battles.

What are assertive techniques?

Assertiveness is considered a balanced response, being neither passive nor aggressive, with self-confidence playing an important part. An assertive person responds as an equal to others and aims to be open in expressing their wishes, thoughts and feelings.

What are 10 example of assertive?

10 Examples of assertive sentenceShe likes writing about the sounds of birds.She doesn't like crowded places.Her brother copies the sounds of animals.It was raining.Honesty is the best policy.The students were attending the class.The Sun rises in the East.We are not your relatives.More items...

What are the four rules of assertiveness?

Here is a set of 4 points, which serve as a useful guide to approaching all kinds of situations assertively.LISTEN. ... EXPRESS. ... SPECIFY. ... OUTCOME.More items...•

What is assertive with examples?

Assertive definition Assertive is defined as someone who is self-confident and strong willed, though sometimes domineering or pushy. An example of someone who may be assertive is a car salesman. adjective.

Which of the following is an example of assertive communication?

Examples of phrases an assertive communicator would use include: “We are equally entitled to express ourselves respectfully to one another.” “I realize I have choices in my life, and I consider my options.” “I respect the rights of others.”

What is assertive behavior?

Being assertive means communicating with others in a direct and honest manner without intentionally hurting anyone's feelings. Direct communication can reduce conflict, build self-confidence and enhance personal and work relationships. Assertiveness is a skill that anyone can learn.

What is assertive communication?

Assertiveness is a particular way of communicating with others that is direct and honest, but also respectful. An assertive communicator knows what they think or what they want, and they are not afraid to ask for it directly. They don’t get angry or let their emotions dominate them, though.

How to speak assertively?

When you speak assertively, you also need to listen thoroughly. This includes showing the people you’re speaking to that you understand their feelings and opinions. You don’t need to agree with them, but show them that you are listening, and that you are willing to work with them.

What is the difference between passive and aggressive communicators?

Passive communicators may struggle to say no at all, while aggressive communicators can be disrespectful in their rejections. An assertive communicator says “no” when they truly cannot do something or accommodate someone, but they are respectful to others in the process.

How to make someone feel uncomfortable?

Whether you're in the office or out with your friends, sometimes someone will do something that makes you feel uncomfortable. Use assertive communication to not only tell them that you're uncomfortable, but to suggest an alternative.

How to deal with aggressive solicitors?

2. State your needs and follow through with action with aggressive solicitors. An aggressive telemarketer or campaigner on the street can be difficult to shake. Use assertive communication to tell them what you need from a situation, and then follow through with direct action.

How to use "like" in a speech?

Keep your statements short, direct, and relevant. If you tend to use fillers such as “like,” “um,” or “yeah,” try to take small breaks in your speech instead. A pause is generally less discernible to your audience than it is to you, and it doesn’t muddle your speech as much as filler words. ...

What to do when a conversation gets too heated?

If the conversation becomes too heated, ask for time-out or a break. Explain that it has nothing to do with the other person, you just need a moment, and you will resume the conversation later.

What is assertive communication?

Put differently, assertive communication involves confidently expressing your needs with an approach that is direct yet calm and reasonable while also taking the other person’s needs into account. This is an important form of communication across a variety of domains in life because it allows you to communicate your wants, needs, or opinions, ...

Why is assertive communication important?

Assertive communication can help make your work environment more enjoyable, but it’s also important to practice outside of the workplace, like with friends and family. Examples of assertive communication with friends and family.

How to be assertive in a relationship?

When you only focus on yourself, you may start to engage in aggressive communication, which is definitely not the route you want to take in a relationship that is mutually supportive.

What is the best way to communicate with a person who is not intimidated?

1. Direct eye contact: communicates that the person is not intimidated. 2. Assertive posture/stance: balance between looking too aggressive and too weak. 3. Tone of voice: should be strong, but not aggressive (e.g., raising voice) 4. Facial expression: important to not express anger or anxiety. 5.

How to communicate your needs to a friend?

3. Respectfully communica te this to the other person: use the assertive techniques listed above to share your needs.

What is the importance of facial expression?

Facial expression: important to not express anger or anxiety. 5. Timing: the person must be socially aware to assertively communicate at the right time (e.g., asking for a raise in the middle of a business meeting is not likely to be well received) 6. Clarity: using specific words that clearly communicate needs.

What is assertive communication?

Assertive communication is a skill that is useful for deterring such behavior before it escalates. Anti-bullying programs such as Problem-Based Learning (PBL) have been implemented in school settings (Hall, 2005). Along with teacher and parent involvement, PBL teaches children assertiveness skills.

Why is assertive communication important in nursing?

However, assertive communication is crucial for nurses, as they often work in high-stress environments that require effective teamwork (Balzer Riley, 2017).

What is facial expression?

Facial expression. Expressions that are neither angry nor anxious are essential for sending the right message. Timing. Assertive communication must be executed at the right time (e.g., making requests from one’s spouse in the middle of a dinner party is not likely to be well received).

Do people speak up about secondhand smoke?

Nonetheless, people confronted with secondhand smoke in a public venue often do not speak up. Assertive communication is more likely, however, when individuals perceive more significant risks from secondhand smoke and are higher in terms of self-efficacy (Bigman, Mello, Sanders-Jackson, & Tan, 2018).

Is it easier to speak up for yourself or to be assertive?

For many, speaking up for oneself is easier said than done. And while it may be uncomfortable, assertiveness is a communication style linked to a wide range of positive outcomes across multiple settings. This article will describe what it means to be assertive, why it is so important, and how to enhance it.

What is assertive communication?

Assertive communication involves clear, honest statements about your beliefs, needs, and emotions. Think of it as a healthy midpoint between passive communication and aggressive communication. When you communicate assertively, you share your opinions without judging others for theirs.

Why is assertiveness important in communication?

You advocate for yourself when necessary, and you do it with politeness and consideration because assertiveness involves respect for your own ideas and those of others. This communication style is pretty useful for solving conflict collaboratively.

Can passive communication lead to white lies?

Passive communication often leads to white lies or lies by omission. Maybe you aren’t directly lying, but deliberate vagueness can still cause some harm. If you hedge around the truth to avoid sharing your opinions, people may get the sense you aren’t telling them everything.

Do you have the right to express your needs respectfully?

Just as you have the right to express your needs respectfully, you also have the right to make requests of others when you need something, whether that’s help with a task or a change in their behavior.

Is assertive communication a problem?

Troubleshooting. Assertive communication can be tricky, especially when you worry others will think you’re selfish or bossy. People do sometimes interpret assertiveness as aggressiveness, especially when they don’t fully understand the difference in these communication styles.

Why is assertive communication important?

More trust. Trust is important in personal and business relationships, and being assertive helps you get there naturally. Passive communication often results in others not taking you seriously, while aggressive behavior tends to lead to feelings of resentment.

How to develop assertive communication skills?

Developing your assertive communication skills can take some practice. Accept it as a challenge. Practice it with loved ones and see the benefit of its application, such as fewer arguments, a more positive and peaceful atmosphere at home, less stress, an increase in self-esteem and confidence, etc.

Why does passive communication lead to feelings of being misunderstood and misheard?

Because no one enjoys the company of someone who constantly judges, argues, disagrees, and doesn’t allow others to share their opinions. While passive communication may lead to feelings of being misunderstood and misheard. You may feel like no one truly listens to you or values your input.

What are the 3 Cs of assertive communication?

The 3 Cs of assertive communication are: Confidence you believe in your ability to handle a situation. Clear – the message you have is clear and easy to understand. Controlled – you deliver information in a calm and controlled manner.

What does it mean to be assertive?

Being assertive, on the other hand, means continuing— in a calm and respectful manner— until the issue is resolved.

What are the different types of communication?

There are 3 main types of communication: passive, aggressive, and assertive. In every conversation, our communication style either makes it easier or harder for the other person to understand what we mean. And, unfortunately, we suffer the consequences if we don’t know which communication style to use. This can lead to accidentally offending people ...

What is nonverbal language?

By nonverbal, we mean body language , eye contact, posture, listening cues, and reactions. All of these should be done without any sense of aggression or passiveness. The former (aggression) will cause the other person to go into defense mode, while the latter (passiveness) will make them feel ignored.

What is assertive communication?

Communicating and acting assertively is an interpersonal skill that helps people to maintain healthy relationships, resolve interpersonal conflict, and prevent one’s needs from being stifled or repressed. Assertiveness can be understood as relational style that treads a middle path between being passive and being aggressive. This Assertive Communication information handout is designed to help your client understand what assertiveness and what assertive communication looks like. It describes the qualities of assertive communication, and explores its differences from passive and aggressive communication.

What is assertive behavior?

Acting assertively is an interpersonal skill that helps people to maintain healthy relationships, resolve interpersonal conflict, and prevent one’s needs from being stifled or repressed. Assertiveness is best understood as a set of behaviors. Examples of assertive behavior include saying “no”, refusing unreasonable requests, ...

What are the consequences of being assertive?

When applied to their own lives, they might believe that an assertive response will lead to negative consequences such as rejection, disapproval, or confrontation; and trigger negative emotions in themselves such as guilt, shame and self-doubt.

What are the effects of passive behavior?

As a result, passive behavior can also include crying, sulking and trying to coax or indirectly persuade people to do things (e.g.

How to be more assertive?

If the person wants to speak (even if they are super-assertive), let them. Be quiet and don’t rush in; control yourself and wait it out. Let them get it off their chest. Try not to interrupt them. Actively listen, look alert and don’t get distracted. Control your body language – don’t let your body speak for you instead of your mouth. Don’t fidget, shrug your shoulders, use submissive facial expressions or body language. All of these traits signal that you lack self-confidence and could make you look apologetic. Just stand or sit still, face the person and look them in the eye while they’re talking.

Why did Annie arrange a meeting with Annie?

The first thing she did was to arrange a meeting with Annie. This took courage because it meant going completely against her instinct. She explained to Annie beforehand that the reason for the meeting was to talk about the most recent new procedure Annie had introduced.

Why didn't Jacinta invite Annie to speak?

She didn’t even have to invite Annie to speak because Annie immediately just launched into justifying why she’d introduced the new procedure. Jacinta also made a point of taking some notes while Annie was speaking. They were sitting just far enough away from each other so that Annie couldn’t read these notes.

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