how do you speak to a funeral memorial

Tips for speaking at a funeral

• Practise the speech as much as you can. Ask someone to listen to you read through the eulogy and give you advice about where you need to slow down or speak more clearly.
• Use something to help you remember your words. You may prefer to have the speech written down word-for-word. ...
• Don’t worry about faltering. ...
• Bring a copy of your speech written out in full. ...

Full Answer

Who should speak at your funeral or memorial service?

As you think about the people you'd like to have speak at your funeral or memorial service, consider who would be able to rise to the occasion while maintaining the emotional wherewithal to do a good job. Family members, friends, clergy, and/or funeral conductors often give eulogies.

What should be included in a funeral speech?

The Funeral Speech. The funeral or memorial speech is an integral part of most funeral and memorial services. Funeral speeches include formal eulogies or tributes as well as informal reflections, remembrances and comments.

How to write a memorial speech for a family member?

What to Say in a Memorial Speech 1 Write Your Thoughts Down. Never speak at a memorial service unprepared. ... 2 Make Personal Statements. There is no universal phrase which makes grief-stricken people feel better, so try for words to show you care or can be helpful in some concrete way. 3 Practice, Practice, Practice. ... 4 Use Visual Aids. ...

How do I personalize my funeral or memorial service?

You should also consider the following when envisioning your funeral or memorial service to personalize it, as applicable: Officiant(s) who will lead the service, such as a clergy member, celebrant, funeral director, etc. Personal touches, such as a memory board, memorial video, personal memorabilia, etc.

How do you speak at a memorial service?

Consider incorporating the following phrases when deciding what to say at a funeral:“I'm so sorry about your loss. ... “Please accept my deepest condolences for your loss.”“[The deceased] was a wonderful person and I'll miss them very much.”“My name is [your name] and I worked with [the deceased] for several years.

How do you start a memorial speech?

Eulogy OutlineStart with opening remarks (introduce yourself and give your relationship to the deceased).If you are an immediate family member, thank attendees (especially those who have traveled a great distance).If you are not a family member, express your condolences.More items...

What do you say at a funeral talk?

Short Eulogy ExamplesHighlight the person's passions or interests.What were the most memorable times you spent together?Sum up the person's character using a story or memory.Express your gratitude for the impact the person had on your life.Talk about their influence on family and community.

What do you say at a memorial celebration?

What to Say in a Speech or Eulogy During a Celebration of Life EventShare origin stories. ... Detail your loved one's most beloved qualities. ... Share favorite stories and memories. ... Talk about their legacy. ... Describe your loved one's family. ... Tell everyone what your loved one would have wanted them to know. ... Add quotes or poems.More items...•

What makes a good memorial speech?

Keep Your Eulogy Brief To help keep your remembrance speech brief, you should focus your eulogy on a specific quality or two about the deceased that you admire, or share a story about the deceased that expresses a significant personality trait or formative moment in their life.

Who usually speaks at a memorial service?

The speech is ideally given by someone who knew the person well enough to gather and share memories and highlights of his/her life. Sometimes the choice is obvious within the family. There is often one person who seems to be the unofficial family spokesperson.

How do you say goodbye funeral words?

A life well-lived finds rest and rewards in the afterlife. Farewell to our friend until that moment we meet again. Let not sorrow replace the love and memories of your friend. Rejoice in the kingdom of God that has unfolded and welcomed our beloved.

What should you not say at a funeral speech?

What Not to Say at a FuneralI know how you feel. ... It's good that they died doing what they loved. ... God uses all things for good. ... Talk about your own loss. ... Life is easier because… ... He feels no pain because he is in a better place. ... If there's anything I can do to help, let me know. ... It was meant to be, or it was destiny.More items...•

What do you say to family at memorial service?

When attending a visitation, here are examples of what you can say to the family:My condolences.I'm really sorry you're going through this.Your mom was a wonderful woman.You loved him/her well.I'm thinking of your family during this difficult time.

Do family members speak at funerals?

Family members, friends, clergy, and/or funeral conductors often give eulogies. At very religious funerals it is common for only clergy to deliver eulogies. However, even at many religious funerals it is common for others to deliver eulogies as well.

What is the most comforting thing to say at a funeral?

I'm sorry for your loss. He will be missed by everyone that knew him. She was a lovely woman and will be greatly missed. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

How do I start a tribute message?

Here are some of the things you should consider before writing a funeral tribute.How close you and this person were.What do the people think about the relationships between you and him/her?What do you miss about him/her?Were there any humorous or emotional moments with him/her that showed your love?

How do you start a speech at a celebration of life?

Some ideas for what to say during your speech include statements of hope, a story or memory about the person, or something else that you feel is necessary to share about the deceased person. It is best not to use cliché phrases, or quotes about your experience with the death of the person or your grief.

What is a good opening prayer for a memorial service?

Lord, we thank you for enabling us to gather here today so that we can celebrate a life well-lived. As we start this funeral service, we ask for the presence of the Holy Spirit in this place. May he bring comfort to every one of us so that we can be able to mourn as believers.

What to do when you are nervous about a speech?

And a glass of water is a good way to allow you to pause and collect yourself. If you’re nervous about the speech, staying hydrated is also a good idea.

What to do if you burst into tears the first time you read your eulogy?

If you burst into tears the first time you try to read your eulogy, practice a few more times. No one expects you to be a robot, but you want to be able to deliver your speech in full, too. Even if you’re feeling confident, don't completely abandon your script. You don't want to forget important facts.

How long does a eulogy take?

But different public speaking engagements come with different expectations. Most eulogies run between three and five minutes. When you practice your speech aloud, you’ll realize that you can fit quite a few words into this time slot. To help make sure your eulogy isn’t too long, do a dress rehearsal.

What is the most comforting thing about a grandparent's death?

For instance, one of the most comforting facets of a grandparent’s death is that they lived a full life. They experienced many things and had many loved ones. In the case of the sick and elderly, it may be comforting for those left behind to know they aren’t suffering anymore.

What to share with your loved ones?

Share your health, legal, funeral, and legacy decisions with your loved ones .

What is the challenge of sharing a eulogy?

The true challenge with sharing a eulogy is emotion. Family and friends are all gathered to get closure and memorialize the deceased. No one is there to judge your public speaking talents. And everyone will be struggling with their emotions.

How to prepare for end of life?

It’ll help you get used to the feeling. Create a free, interactive Cake end-of-life planning profile. Share your health, legal, funeral, and legacy decisions with your loved ones. Start planning.

How to do a funeral for a deceased person?

1. Meet with the deceased’s friends and family. First, meet with the deceased’s friends and family. A helpful place to begin is determining what the tone and feel of the ceremony will be.

What to ask a family member about a funeral?

Ask if other friends and family members wish to speak at the ceremony, and how long they want the service to last.

What role does a minister play at a funeral or memorial service?

The role of a minister / officiant at a funeral or memorial service is to help friends and family honor the life and death of a loved one. Ministers give friends and family an opportunity to mourn in whatever way they need to in order to heal. They do this by practicing compassion, listening carefully, and showing up prepared, ready to deliver an authentic and meaningful eulogy. Being able to gracefully navigate last minute changes, difficult emotions, and unexpected mishaps is also essential.

What is the right of an AMM minister?

As an AMM Minister (or Reverend, Pastor, or Officiant, whatever title you choose), your right to conduct religious ceremonies of all forms is protected by the religious non-establishment clause of the first amendment. While many of our ministers only conduct wedding ceremonies, others also conduct baptisms, funerals, baby blessings, and other meaningful rites.

What to wear to a minister's wedding?

This goes for ministers and guests alike. Some nice slacks, a dress shirt, tie and jacket, or dress pants with a trendy blouse and / or a blazer will usually work. Solid black is traditional, but if it’s just too dark or somber for the event, opt for grey or navy, with minimal prints or colors.

What is the most important thing to remember on the day of the service?

The most important thing to remember on the day of the service is that you’re there to help facilitate healing and remembering -- in whatever way the friends and family choose.

Why is it important to have a copy of your own speech?

Having your own copy is helpful because you’ll know the approximate time each person needs to speak, and you’ll have a backup copy to share in case they forget theirs. Anything you can do to make their day easier is important. They may ask you for suggestions of what to say or read.

When to invite people to a funeral?

Once the funeral or memorial service has been scheduled, you'll want to invite people to the service and let them know when and where it will be held.

Can you send out a memorial card before a service?

If you're having a memorial service and have some time before the service, you might also consider sending out printed invitations. There are many companies that can help you create custom printed cards, which you can then mail out to the people you'd like to invite.

Can you send an email to invite family to a funeral?

These days, many people send emails inviting family and friends to the service, which can cut down on the amount of time and energy that the you'll spend notifying people of all the service details.

What to say in a funeral opening?

Funeral opening remarks are almost akin to a funeral thank you speech. You want to make sure everyone feels as though they have been warmly welcomed to join in and mourn together. One way to do that is to express your gratitude to people for coming. Be open and sincere about what their presence means for you.

How long is a funeral eulogy?

And at many funerals someone will deliver a eulogy that’s usually between three and five minutes long.

How to make an opening speech at a funeral?

If you’re making opening remarks, make sure they fit in with the overall tone of the service. If the funeral is meant to be more of a lighthearted celebration, you can infuse your remarks with a little humor. If it’s a serious service honoring a distinguished person, your remarks will be more formal.

Why do you have to speak at a funeral?

It gives you the opportunity to pay tribute to someone who meant a great deal to you. But sitting down to write down what you want to say may feel overwhelming. If you’re grieving, your creative well may feel like it has run dry.

What are the different types of funerals?

There are many different kinds of funerals. Some are religious and some are secular . Some have a more somber tone, while others take on a more celebratory bent. There are typically clues to this in the funeral announcement. For example, generally people know ahead of time if they’re going to a celebration of life service as opposed to a more traditional funeral. But people who are mourning may not have read a funeral announcement that closely or may be distracted by their grief.

How long should an opening speech be?

Your opening remarks don’t have to be even that long. You should be able to say what you need to say in just a minute or two.

How do people open speeches at events?

What are some ways that people generally open speeches at events? Adapt those rules to the situation. Many people like to use famous quotations (religious or secular) as a jumping-off point for a speech. Others like to focus on making the audience feel included. And others like to get right to the point of what they’ll be saying. All of these strategies work for a funeral speech as well. The most important thing to remember is to keep the tone appropriate for the occasion. Here we share some examples:

What can you do at a funeral?

At your funeral or memorial service, people can deliver eulogies and other speeches reflecting on you and your life.

How many speakers should be at a funeral?

Unless you will be following strict religious customs, the number of speakers at your funeral or memorial service is entirely up to you. One way to determine how many speakers you should have is to think about how long you'd like the service to be. Another way is to think about the people who are most important to you, and ask those people to speak. A third way is to consider the topics that you'd like people to address, and choose specific people to speak on each of those topics. It is also entirely appropriate to have only one person deliver a eulogy.

How to choose a topic for a eulogy?

Sometimes the topic of the eulogy is left up to the speaker to decide, while other times the topic has been chosen for the speaker. Whether speakers will have assigned topics or may speak about whatever they choose is entirely up to you. If you would like to choose topics for the people who will be delivering eulogies, talk to them about that ahead of time. Let them know why you've chosen them to focus on a particular topic, and be open to answering any questions or addressing any concerns they might have. This way, when the time comes, the people you've chosen to speak will be prepared, and will fully understand your wishes.

What should the focus of a eulogy be?

The focus of a eulogy should be on you and your life. A religious leader might speak about your religious faith, a business colleague might speak about your professional life, and a family member might speak about your personal life. Many people share memories or tell stories in a eulogy, to help illustrate the nature and character of the person they're speaking about.

Who gives eulogy at funerals?

Family members, friends, clergy, and/or funeral conductors often give eulogies. At very religious funerals it is common for only clergy to deliver eulogies. However, even at many religious funerals it is common for others to deliver eulogies as well. For many people, writing and delivering a eulogy is a deeply emotional experience, ...

Can you speak at a funeral?

Other Opportunities To Speak At A Funeral Or Memorial Service. Aside from a formal eulogy, there are many opportunities to speak at a funeral or memorial service. People can say prayers, recite poems, or tell stories about you and your life. If there are any special readings or anecdotes that you’d like to have shared at the funeral, ...

Who delivers a religious eulogy?

In many religions, the eulogy is delivered by the clergy member who is officiating the service . In many cases, a religious eulogy will focus on the role of God and faith in your life, rather than any secular accomplishments. If you have a close relationship with your religious leader, you might consider meeting with him or her to talk about any specific issues you'd like to have addressed or avoided in the eulogy. If you would like to have a religious funeral or memorial service but don't have a relationship with a religious leader, you might consider beginning to build a relationship so that he or she can speak knowingly about you at the service.

What to do if you have already died?

If death has already occurred, you can contact a local funeral home, cremation provider, or cemetery. Your chosen provider can help you: Arrange the funeral, memorial, and/or interment service you desire. Provide information about various products and services.

What is the purpose of a funeral or memorial service?

Many families these days prefer to plan a funeral or memorial service focused on remembering the deceased as he or she was in life, a service focused on the deceased's body/remains, or a combination of both.

What is the process of planning a funeral?

Planning a funeral or memorial service is a highly personal process. Your decisions will be shaped by your life experiences, relationship to the deceased, what the deceased wanted, what you desire for yourself after you die, what you can afford, and myriad other factors.

What is a funeral service?

Reflects their and/or your religious or spiritual beliefs. Provides a memorable, meaningful opportunity for mourners to express their grief while comforting and supporting each other. Some families prefer funeral services in a place of worship or a funeral home chapel, incorporating religious readings and music.

Why do people choose natural burial?

In general, people who select natural burial seek to minimize their impact on the environment after death.

What is a eulogist?

Eulogist (s), who will write and deliver a eulogy about the deceased. Music, whether contemporary, religious hymns, or both, and whether they're live or recorded. Food/beverages, whether professionally catered, provided "potluck" by attendees, or arranged by the funeral home or provider.

Why do people send flowers at funerals?

Traditionally, people send funeral flowers or sympathy flowers as a sign of support and to express their condolences.

Why do people speak at funerals?

Memorial services and funerals allow mourners to express their sentiments and pay their respects to the person who has died. When asked to speak at one of these ceremonies, you are given a unique opportunity to publicly express your thoughts and feelings about the deceased.

How to write a memorial?

Write Your Thoughts Down. Never speak at a memorial service unprepared. You may feel you know what to say, but when the time comes, you could be overcome with emotion or grief that you will forget. Take some time and organize your thoughts. Ask friends and family members to share memories as inspiration.

How to make someone feel better when they are grieving?

Make Personal Statements. There is no universal phrase which makes grief-stricken people feel better, so try for words to show you care or can be helpful in some concrete way. Make statements about the person you are talking to or the deceased, not cliché phrases or things about your experience with grief. Source.

Why is a memorial service delayed?

A typical memorial service is held within a week of the individual's death, however, it can be delayed for various reasons such as: Family wants to wait for a special holiday like a birthday or anniversary. Many of the mourners live far away and need time to travel.

What is a memorial service?

A Celebration of Life. Similar to funerals, memorial services are a celebration of the deceased person's life. Music is played and family members and friends take turns reliving memories. A slideshow or photo collage is displayed with images of the individual and his or her family and friends.

Is a funeral formal or informal?

While funerals are traditional in nature, memorial services are more casual or informal. People are at ease and not as grief-stricken as they are at a funeral or burial. Mourners are free to mingle and chat with loved ones and friends.

Is grief a personal experience?

While the expression of grief is a largely personal experience, it can also be culturally expressed. In some cultures, death is viewed as a sad loss while in others it is a joyful awakening. Before offering any words specific to a particular culture, be sure you fully understand their meaning and typical context.

Why do funerals have speeches?

Funerals, Homegoings and Celebration of Life services include a mix of these funeral speeches to ensure that all close family and friends are given a chance to reflect on their relationship with the deceased, and offer comfort to mourners. It is considered an honor to be asked to deliver a funeral speech.

How long is a funeral eulogy?

A eulogy is usually the main speech that praises and offers testimonial to the deceased's life. Eulogies typically are from 5 - 15 minutes.