Knowledge Builders

who said it is better to understand then to be understood

by Eloise Douglas Published 3 years ago Updated 2 years ago
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Stephen Covey

Is it better to understand than to be understood?

"It is far better to understand than to be understood. Understanding creates knowledge and knowledge is the best tool in life." "Understanding first helps you better understand how to be understood later." "Most of the time we speak and act on our assumptions, true understanding requires us to let go of our assumptions."

What is seek first to understand then to be understood?

Habit 5: seek first to understand, then to be understood focuses on acting within your Circle of Influence — understanding the other person and expressing yourself. Those actions, in turn, can help you effectively influence other people, which can influence situations that impact you, which expands your Circle of Influence.

Is it correct to say I understand in an email?

Replying “I understand” is a good way to show someone that you accept the instructions. This article will explore a few other alternatives that work well in formal emails and business contexts. The preferred synonyms are “understood,” “I appreciate that,” and “that makes sense.”

What if we valued understanding rather than fighting to be understood?

More important, what if they valued understanding the people and country they serve. Imagine the ripple affect the shift to seeking to understand rather than fighting to be understood could have on racial, cultural, religious understandings, on our understanding each other in our communities.

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Is seek first to understand then be understood in the Bible?

“Seek first to understand, then to be understood.” “Seek ye first” is an edict we all recognize and readily comprehend. God instructs us that our individual and collective priority is to “seek His Kingdom and His righteousness” (Matthew 6:33.

What is a quote attributed to Stephen Covey?

1) The key is not to prioritize what's on your schedule, but to schedule your priorities. 2) The main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing. 3) Live out of your imagination, not your history. 4) Trust is the glue of life.

What does the phrase Seek first to understand, then to be understood mean?

Seek first to understand, then to be understood can be defined as “Having a frame of mind and heart that empathically listens to others first before seeking to be understood in all human interactions.”

What does Habit 5 Seek first to understand then to be understood?

Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood® is the habit of listening to other people's ideas and feelings. It's trying to see things from their viewpoints. I listen to others without interrupting.

What is the famous William Morris quote?

“Have nothing in your houses that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful.” – William Morris.

What is one meaningful quote from Kurt Vonnegut?

“A purpose of human life, no matter who is controlling it, is to love whoever is around to be loved.” – Kurt Vonnegut, If This Isn't Nice, What Is?

What does the Bible say about seeking to understand?

“Lean Not unto Thine Own Understanding” “And with all thy getting get understanding,” or, said another way, “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding” (Proverbs 3:5).

What does Stephen Covey's put things first refer to?

He incorporated this concept into what he called the third habit, which means to put things first. Putting first things first encourages you to adopt a way of life where life should be celebrated without compromising your responsibilities.

What is habit 6 in the 7 Habits?

Habit 6: SYNERGIZE® To put it simply, synergy means “two heads are better than one.” Synergize is the habit of creative cooperation. It is teamwork, open-mindedness, and the adventure of finding new solutions to old problems.

What are the two main principles behind habit five?

Listening provides the platform to understand what other people want rather than focusing only on what we want. The main philosophy behind habit 5, seek first to understand them, to be understood by Stephen Covey revolves around it because it helps the decision-making process.

What are the two main principles behind Habit 5?

Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood® We typically seek first to be understood. Instead, most people listen to the reply. They're either speaking or preparing to speak. Empathic listening is listening with the intent to understand.

What is the most important of the 7 Habits?

Habit 1: Be Proactive The first and most fundamental habit of an effective person is to be proactive. More than just taking the initiative, being proactive means taking responsibility for your life.

What was one of Sean Covey's favorite quotes?

Sean Covey Quotes“Isn't it kind of silly to think that tearing someone else down builds you up?” ... “We are free to choose our paths, but we can't choose the consequences that come with them.” ... “We become what we repeatedly do.” ... “Instead of playing to win, I was playing not to lose.More items...

What does Stephen Covey's put things first refer to?

He incorporated this concept into what he called the third habit, which means to put things first. Putting first things first encourages you to adopt a way of life where life should be celebrated without compromising your responsibilities.

What is the quote from Zig Ziglar?

"You were born to win, but to be a winner, you must plan to win, prepare to win, and expect to win."

What does Stephen Covey say that reactive people focus on?

Proactive people focus their efforts on the things they can change, whereas reactive people focus their efforts on the areas of their lives in which they have no control.

What is Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood?

Habit 5: seek first to understand, then to be understood focuses on acting within your Circle of Influence — understanding the other person and expressing yourself. Those actions, in turn, can help you effectively influence other people, which can influence situations that impact you, which expands your Circle of Influence.

How to use habit 5?

In order to use habit 5, seek first to understand then to be understood, you must use true empathic listening. True empathic listening stems from a paradigm that includes a genuine desire to understand other people; from that foundation, there are skills you can practice to master empathic listening. The first stage is mimicking, often called ...

What is empathic listening?

Empathic listening is the fifth form of listening; empathic listening goes beyond attentive listening, because you’re not only hearing every word but also listening with an effort to understand the other person’s paradigm. In other words, you’re trying to seek to understand before being understood. When we fail to listen empathically — from ...

How to reach a win/win solution?

We discussed in Habit 4 that an essential step in reaching a Win/Win solution is to try to understand the other person’s perspective and concerns. The key to truly understanding people is empathic listening, which is listening with the intent to see their perspective. Empathetic listening is necessary to work on habit 5: seek first to understand, then to be understood.

What is Covey's Habit 5?

Covey’s Habit 5: seek first to understand, then be understood provides clear and actionable ways to be a better listener, and to apply those skills to business and personal relationships.

What is Habit 5?

Habit 5: seek first to understand, then to be understood focuses on acting within your Circle of Influence — understanding the other person and expressing yourself. Those actions, in turn, can help you effectively influence other people, which can influence situations that impact you, which expands your Circle of Influence.

Why is empathy important in communication?

First, it gives you the most useful information to work with as you interact with the other person because you’re getting an accurate picture of how this person views and feels about a situation, as opposed to your own skewed interpretation of it.

Why do we think people are different from us?

Why do we do this? Our brains are just wired to react this way when we think that someone seems different from us — either physically or psychologically. The part of our brain that lights up when we engage in theory of mind — called the medial prefrontal cortex (MPFC) — lights up particularly strongly when we’re “reading” the mind of someone close to us (again, either physically or psychologically). Conversely, the more literally or metaphorically distant someone seems, the less the MPFC engages, which results in us thinking that person is less than fully human. When a boss interacts with an employee or an employee interacts with a boss, they recognize a difference between themselves, so both will tend to dehumanize the other, ever so slightly.

What is Stephen Covey's public habit?

The gist of that habit is to seek to allow everyone involved in a conflict or negotiation to feel as if they’ve “won.” This requires balancing consideration for the needs of others, with the assertiveness to stand up for your own. For Covey, this combination of consideration and assertiveness is what gives rise to maturity.

How do we dehumanize others?

The most common way we do this is by assuming others’ minds are less sophisticated than our own. For example, Nick’s research has shown that affluent people tend to think that poor people lack self-control, free will, and initiative. On the flipside, poor people have a tendency to believe that rich people are unfeeling, callous, money-grubbing robots. In both cases, each group assumes the minds of the other group aren’t as human as theirs.

What is the best way to build interpersonal cohesion?

The thing that really lights up our MPFC is when we’re in close physical proximity to others and interact with them in face-to-face conversations; doing a physical activity together helps build interpersonal cohesion as well.

How to overcome the tendency to be different from others?

Overcoming our natural tendency to “other” others is pretty straightforward. Instead of focusing on what makes you different from them, focus on what you have in common. As soon as you start seeing the similarities between you and another person, your MPFC will begin lighting up more, and you’ll find yourself increasingly understanding them as fellow human beings.

Why do we assume that other people perceive the world the same way we do?

Because most of our thoughts are about ourselves and we spend every waking minute marinating in these literally self-centered thoughts, we have a tendency to assume that other people perceive and process the world the same way that we do. We typically don’t consciously realize this until we have a super salient epiphany moment that unveils the fact that someone else thinks in a fundamentally different way. Even once you’ve had such an experience, you still sometimes slip into assuming that other people’s minds are very much like your own. Epley calls this “the lens problem.”

What to say when your wife says her day was fine?

You do so when you ask your wife how her day was and she exasperatedly says “Fine.” You guess that her day actually wasn’t fine, and so respond by saying: “It sounds like you had a rough day. Tell me what happened.”

How to make people listen to you more?

Say less, mean more. Another practical suggestion is to say fewer words, but choose them wisely. People tend to lose concentration or interest when a conversation drags on. Get to the point as quickly as possible. Besides, if you earn a reputation as someone who’s accurate and precise, who doesn’t bloviate or waste others’ time with empty words, people will listen to you more and likely better understand what you say when you speak.

What happens if you don't understand what others say?

Without the ability to understand what others say or the meaning behind their words, we can miss important cues, lose out on opportunities, fail to see changes in time to appropriately react, and go off in a totally different direction . Worse, if we lack understanding, we’re more prone to selfish acts than helping others.

How to start a conversation with someone?

Think first, then speak. Start by thinking about what you’re going to say — well before you say it. If this is difficult, employ the breathing in and out technique. Take one or two deep breaths (you can do this without seeming too obvious) while you consider how you want to frame your words. What’s the purpose for your conversation? Do you need to inform, request information, ask for assistance, offer sympathy, encouragement or counsel? When you’re clear why you need to say something, your message will likely be better received and understood.

What are the signs of communication?

Your words are only part of the communication process. Tone, body language, emphasis on words or lack thereof, facial expressions, breathing, flushing, sweating and other physical signs also convey emotion, conviction, or a disconnect between what’s being said and what the speaker means or believes.

How to stop talking?

The point is to know when it’s time to quit talking. Once you’ve delivered your message, take a breath. Allow time for the listener to digest and process what you’ve said and to respond accordingly. Conversation is a two-way exchange, not just one way. Learn how to listen.

How to improve understanding of others?

Instead of a lecture on what he or she did wrong, maybe what’s really needed is a hug or a sympathetic look. Actions are also expressions of understanding and this is a technique that you can work on to improve both your understanding of others and theirs of you.

Why is it important to be an active listener?

Instead of anticipating what you’re going to say and tuning out the speaker, keep your focus and concentration on what he or she is saying. If you want to develop better understanding of others, you must hear what they’re saying. So, be an active listener.

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1.Is It Better to Understand Than to Be Understood?

Url:https://www.huffpost.com/entry/is-it-better-to-understan_b_2779097

16 hours ago  · “And with all thy getting get understanding,” or, said another way, “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding” (Proverbs 3:5). Who …

2.Origin of "Seek first to understand, then to be understood"

Url:https://english.stackexchange.com/questions/171878/origin-of-seek-first-to-understand-then-to-be-understood

15 hours ago A few of the comments: "It's hard to have a voice and not be understood, but how can you even begin to have a voice if you don't understand." "It is better to understand so we have the …

3.Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to Be …

Url:https://www.shortform.com/blog/habit-5-seek-first-to-understand-then-be-understood-7-habits/

23 hours ago  · Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood. What is the origin of this phrase? My guess is that it was inspired by the Prayer of Saint Francis which contains these …

4.The 7 Habits: Seek First to Understand, Then to Be …

Url:https://www.artofmanliness.com/character/habits/the-7-habits-seek-first-to-understand-then-to-be-understood/

3 hours ago  · Covey’s Habit 5: seek first to understand, then be understood provides clear and actionable ways to be a better listener, and to apply those skills to business and personal …

5.7 Ways to Better Understand and Be Understood

Url:https://psychcentral.com/blog/7-ways-to-better-understand-and-be-understood

15 hours ago  · The 7 Habits: Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood. Welcome back to our monthly series that summarizes, expands, and riffs on each of the seven habits laid out in …

6.It Is Better to Understand Than to Be Understood - Medium

Url:https://medium.com/age-of-awareness/it-is-better-to-understand-than-to-be-understood-2b0ce7981d54

20 hours ago  · “The most basic of all human needs is the need to understand and be understood.” – Ralph Nichols Being h

7.The Prayer of Saint Francis - kottke.org

Url:https://kottke.org/14/04/the-prayer-of-saint-francis

20 hours ago  · For it is better to understand than to be understood. I am in no way implying that I am better than anyone. I am a member of the fallible human family. Like anyone, I have …

8.Prayer of St. Francis | EWTN

Url:https://www.ewtn.com/catholicism/devotions/prayer-of-st-francis-837

29 hours ago  · The Reverend put it slightly differently: Lord, grant that I may seek rather to comfort than to be comforted, to understand, than to be understood, to love, than to be …

9.Videos of Who Said It is Better to Understand Then to be Underst…

Url:/videos/search?q=who+said+it+is+better+to+understand+then+to+be+understood&qpvt=who+said+it+is+better+to+understand+then+to+be+understood&FORM=VDRE

36 hours ago that where there is sadness, I may bring joy. Lord, grant that I may seek rather to. comfort than to be comforted; to understand, than to be understood; to love, than to be loved. For it is by …

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