5 Rules for Choosing Your Bridesmaids and Groomsmen
- Start With Siblings. Including your siblings is the perfect way to start choosing your bridesmaids and groomsmen. ...
- Emphasize Reliability. ...
- Consider Personalities. ...
- Be Mindful of Budget. ...
- Think About Feelings. ...
Full Answer
How to choose the correct number of bridesmaids?
What to Consider When Choosing Your Bridesmaids
- Tradition vs. Reality. ...
- First Things First. Before you start making your list, you need to determine how many bridesmaids you’ll want in your wedding.
- Make Your List. ...
- Family Matters. ...
- Expectations and Responsibilities. ...
- Man of Honor or Best Woman. ...
- Multiple Maids of Honor. ...
- Proposing to Your Bridesmaids. ...
- Hurt Feelings. ...
- Be Understanding. ...
How to be a brilliant bridesmaid?
ON THE DAY
- Check the Venue. You might be asked to help set up or make sure the placing is correct on the morning itself. ...
- Getting Ready. ...
- Act as Photographer’s Assistant. ...
- Attend the Bride. ...
- Public Speaking. ...
- Be Ready for Emergencies. ...
- Get the Party Started. ...
- Don’t Forget the Details. ...
- Go the Extra Mile. ...
How many bridesmaids should you have?
Unfortunately, there is no correct number of bridesmaids you should have at your wedding, it’s completely up to you. If you have too many friends and you don’t want anyone’s feelings to get hurt then you could opt for no bridesmaids at all, or even just choose your female siblings.
How many bridesmaids are too many bridesmaids?
…And the responses varied greatly. There were the outliers: Any bridesmaid is one too many, while another commented there was, in fact, “no limit.” But the average response was clear as day: 7.17 bridesmaids. So, if you’re making this decision based on statistical significance, 0.17 bridesmaids beyond seven is the tipping point.
Who should I choose as my bridesmaids?
According to wedding etiquette choosing bridesmaids, it is best to start with your immediate family. This would include your siblings and then your cousins and so forth. If your family members are too young to serve as bridesmaids, you can ask them to be a junior bridesmaid or flower girl.
When should I choose my bridesmaids?
The best rule is to ask your friends and family members to be your bridesmaids anywhere between a year to eight months before your wedding. That will give them enough time to plan the bachelorette party and get their dresses. Any less time may not be enough for them to be able to make the commitment.
How do you pick bridesmaids orders?
The good news is, we have five fairly foolproof ways to line up your bridesmaids so that they won't have their feelings hurt:Arrange by: Family First (or last) ... Arrange by: Length of Relationship. ... Arrange by: Dress colour. ... Arrange by: Role in Ceremony. ... Arrange by: Height.
What is the most important bridesmaid?
The Maid of Honour (or Man of Honour, where applicable) serves as the chief bridesmaid. She acts as the bride's key personal attendant both during the engagement and on the big day, with an aim to reduce stress wherever possible and lend a hand or opinion whenever needed.
Should my fiance's sister be a bridesmaid?
Are you automatically expected to ask your fiancé's sister to be a bridesmaid? The short answer to whether or not you have to include anyone, even a family member, in your wedding party is no. This is your wedding, and you and your partner should do whatever feels right.
Who pays for the bridesmaids dresses?
Who Pays for Bridesmaids Dresses in the US? In the US, the tradition is for the bridesmaids to each pay for their own bridesmaids dress, regardless of who is making the final call on what the dresses will look like. The bride should try to be flexible about the kind of dresses she chooses for her girls.
Who walks the mother of the bride?
The mother of the bride is the last person seated before the officiant, groom and best man take their places at the altar. She can walk alone or be escorted by her son, son-in-law or another relative.
Which mother walks down the aisle first?
the bride's motherA. The groom's parents precede the bride's mother during the processional. Here's a rundown: After the ushers have seated all of the guests, the grandparents start up the aisle, followed by the groom's parents. Then the bride's mother takes her turn.
Who walks out first in a wedding?
1. Officiant. Your officiant is generally the first person to walk toward the altar, signifying the ceremony is about to commence.
What does the bridesmaid pay for?
Most often, bridesmaids cover the cost of their dress and undergarments, shoes, accessories, and hair and makeup for the wedding day. The bride may opt to cover any of the aforementioned costs if she deems it appropriate.
How many bridesmaids is normal?
A wedding can have quite literally any number of bridesmaids. Some brides have no maids at all, whereas others might have several dozen. The most common number of bridesmaids is 3, but anywhere between 1 and 12 is considered a perfectly normal amount.
Can a married woman be a bridesmaid?
Can I have my married friend as a bridesmaid in the wedding? Yes, absolutely! The idea that a bride needs to be surrounded by unmarried women is ancient history, and unless all your closest friends do happen to be unwed, it might as well stay that way. There's no reason you can't ask a married friend to be a maid.
Is 2 years too early to ask bridesmaids?
The rule of thumb is to ask one year to eight months before the actual wedding, so you have time to plan out related activities.
Do you have to ask someone to be a bridesmaid if they asked you?
No, you don't have to make them a bridesmaid. Ultimately, it will be your decision whether or not to ask them to be a bridesmaid. It depends on how close you two are, and how long ago you served as her bridesmaid. How do you decide to cut a friend from your bridal party?
Can you ask bridesmaids before you have a date?
As a rule of thumb, you should ask bridesmaids to be in your wedding 1 year to 8 months ahead of the date. If you are getting married in one year, you're perfectly on time to ask your bridal party either now or just a few months from now. You can wait a bit if you wish, but honestly, the earlier you ask… the better!
How many bridesmaids do you need for 100 guests?
On the other hand, if you're looking at having a small intimate affair with just 100 guests or less, then you could consider a number below five or none at all with just your maid of honor . On average, you'll find that most brides choose to have between 4 to 6 bridesmaids .
Think Twice Before You Ask.
Once you've asked someone to be in your wedding party, you can't go back. So while it may be tempting to ask all of your favorite friends to be in...
Include Your Brothers and Sisters.
Not to sound like your mom, but think about it: Even if you're not particularly close to his sister or her brother, siblings are going to be around...
Consider The Size of Your Wedding.
You can have as many (or few) bridesmaids and groomsmen as you like. The average wedding party size is four on either side. Use that as a guide whe...
Call Him The Man of Honor and Her The Best Woman.
Guys can stand with the bride and women can stand with the groom. It's really up to you—what's most important is that you include your favorite peo...
Choose Responsible Honor Attendants.
The best honor attendants are friends who are responsible (since you're going to rely on them for some big wedding planning tasks and to hold on to...
Don't Ask Someone Just Because They Asked you.
Weddings are no time for quid pro quo. You don't need to ask someone to be in your wedding because they asked you to be in their wedding. Don't ask...
How many bridesmaids should I have at my wedding?
While the average amount of bridesmaids is between four and six, you can have any number that feels right, including no bridesmaids at all. Remember, there’s no rule here, so do what really feels right. It’s important, however, to be conscious of your choices and how they’ll affect your relationships and group dynamic. The last thing you’ll want to deal with on your wedding day is bridesmaid drama, so choose accordingly to make sure that everyone will get along. If you’re on the fence about a pal, or really feel like you want to add someone, do it. Trust yourself and you’ll have a solid group of babes helping you get ready on your way to “I do.”
Why do couples lean on their wedding party?
Some couples lean heavily on their wedding party for help with tasks leading up to, and on, the day of the wedding, whereas others manage everything pretty much on their own. If your idea of bridesmaid duty involves lots of help, more bridesmaids might be a good idea to ensure that you get everything done.
What to do after getting engaged?
After getting engaged, one of the first steps that couples like to take is to ask pals to be a part of their wedding party. While it’s exciting to select your VIPs for the special day, it can be tricky to decide who should stand by your side. Your bridal party will be by your side from the bachelorette party to the altar, so the stakes are high. If you’re wondering how to choose bridesmaids for your big day, we’re breaking everything down so that you can select with confidence.
Do bridesmaids need to be in a dress?
A good rule: If you speak rarely or only hang out in a group, they don’t need to be in a bridesmaid dress.
Can you ask who you want to be in your wedding?
In an ideal world, you’d be able to ask exactly who you want to be in your wedding without causing hurt feelings, but the reality is that this isn’t always the case. Whether it’s your lunch group from work or the friends you get brunch with on Sundays, chances are that you’ll be faced with having to pick and choose from different groups of friends. If you leave one person out, you can bet it will cause some strife, so it’s a good idea to really consider the ramifications of group dynamics.
Do siblings attend weddings?
No matter what your relationship looks like, there’s a good chance that your siblings will be in attendance at your wedding. The reason that many couples choose to have them be a part of the wedding party (even if they aren’t super close), is that they'll probably still be in the picture come time to celebrate on your fifth, 10th, and 20th wedding anniversary. If you have a lot of siblings (or don’t feel comfortable giving them all the ultimate roles of honor), find other ways to incorporate them in the ceremony, such as serving as readers or ushers.
Is choosing bridesmaids easy?
Choosing bridesmaids is no easy task, as emotions are always involved. Check out Zola’s useful guide to choosing your bridesmaids for more great tips. By Rachel Varina. Photo by Taylor Parker Photography.
How to choose bridesmaids and groomsmen?
Start With Siblings. Including your siblings is the perfect way to start choosing your bridesmaids and groomsmen. If they’re much younger, you may prefer to have them serve as ushers or junior attendants, but if they’re close to your age, definitely give them the full-blown honor.
What to look for in a group of bridesmaids?
Aim for a group of bridesmaids and groomsmen who are friendly, cordial, and can transition easily between groups to quickly cross “fights between friends” off of the list of things to worry about on your wedding day.
What to think before sending out a bridesmaid gift?
Before you send out those “Be My Bridesmaid?” gifts, think about how your wedding party will get along. That doesn’t mean everyone has to be the best of friends, but if one person on your list has a stronger—or even abrasive—personality and tends to rub people the wrong way, that’s potential drama you’ll want to avoid if you can.
Is being a bridesmaid expensive?
We all know being a bridesmaid or groomsman is expensive . Even if you’re paying for their accommodations or chipping in for the suit or dress, between flights, gifts, and the bachelor and bachelorette parties, the bill can add up.
Do you need bridesmaids for a wedding?
While you may not need your bridesmaids or groomsmen to participate too much in planning your wedding, there will be moments when you’ll need to know you can count on them. If your friend almost never calls you back or constantly shows up late when you have plans, they may not be the right person for the job, especially with bridesmaid dress order deadlines and tight timelines the day of your wedding. Instead, lean toward friends who you know will answer your emails, show up when you need them to (or a few minutes early), and probably be more prepared than you.
What to do if someone turns you down as a bridesmaid?
The person might not have the money or the time it takes to be a bridesmaid, or she might be too self-conscious to walk down the aisle in front of a church full of people. Graciously accept her wishes and let her know you hope she’s able to attend the ceremony and reception.
What to put in a bridesmaid box?
Don’t forget to attach a handwritten note asking them to be your bridesmaid. Some of the items in the box may include a photo frame, monogrammed handkerchief, necklace, or another item that pertains to your relationship.
What to wrap a bridesmaid with?
Wrap a bottle of wine or champagne with a personal message about why you’d like her to be your bridesmaid.
How to narrow down the number of family members in a wedding?
Here are some criteria to help narrow down the number of family members: Select only those who are adults. Choose family members who live in your area. Select a sibling over a distant cousin.
What to do when a bride is under stress?
The bride is under a tremendous amount of stress coming at her from all sides, and she doesn’t need friendship drama right now. Take the high road and offer your assistance if you’re able to do something. Your understanding, kindness, and generosity will go a long way toward cementing your friendship.
Who is the maid of honor?
The maid of honor should be the bridesmaid you feel closest to. If you find yourself torn between two people, you may choose to have two maids of honor. Make sure you are clear on what you expect from each of them and try to even out their responsibilities before, during, and after the wedding.
Who is Debby Mayne?
Debby Mayne is an etiquette expert and writer with 25+ years of experience. She covers professional, social, children's, wedding, and funeral etiquette.
What to do if your friend doesn't come to the bachelorette party?
Tell her it’s okay if she doesn’t come to the bachelorette party, or offer (if you can) to help pay for her dress. Just keep any arrangements and discussions private.
Can you have family members at a wedding?
The short answer: no. But, as with all things wedding-related, it is rarely that simple. Particularly, when it comes to including family members in the wedding party, it is important to sit down with your parents and close family and be clear about expectations upfront.
Do bridesmaids and groomsmen make for balanced photos?
While an even number of bridesmaids and groomsmen makes for balanced photos, if adding a couple of extra friends to your ranks (or cutting a few) will make you happy, go for it. Respectfully turn down a friend.
What to remember when choosing a bridal party?
7 Important Things to Remember When Choosing Your Bridal Party. They're your support group, A-team and wedding-day crew. Here's what you need to know before drafting your ideal bridal party. Bridal parties can range anywhere from a single maid or matron of honor to more than a dozen bridesmaids. (In fact, you're welcome not to have ...
How many bridesmaids should be in a wedding party?
Bridal parties can range anywhere from a single maid or matron of honor to more than a dozen bridesmaids. (In fact, you're welcome not to have a wedding party at all, if that's your preference.) Think about how many guests you're expecting and the formality of the event. While old-school wedding experts might say there should be one groomsman and one corresponding bridesmaid for every 50 guests, this definitely isn't mandatory (your wedding is your wedding, not a mathematical formula). All this implies is that a large wedding party fits in well at a large, formal wedding, while a smaller bridal party feels more appriopriate at a small, intimate gathering—but to each their own, of course. Read on for important tips to remember—and assumptions you can forget about—when deciding whom you want standing up with you throughout your engagement and on your day.
How many besties can you have without getting married?
You may have 18 besties you can't imagine getting married without—and that's awesome. But don't feel pressure to ask every one of your friends to be in your party if you're not 100 percent positive you want them to. The more bridesmaids you have, the greater the potential for complications.
What happens if you don't consider your sister a bestie?
If you're close to your sister and future sister-in-law, the thought of not including them in your wedding party probably never even occurred to you. But if you don't consider your sibling a bestie (it happens), the thought of asking your sister or sister-in-law to be in your party might make you groan.
Is being a bridesmaid cheap?
Being a bridesmaid isn't always cheap, but you shouldn't write off some friends simply because you don't think can afford every bridesmaid expense. If you want to ask a friend you know is having financial difficulties, you can always tell her you'd love her to be a bridesmaid, but understand the financial difficulties.
Is there symmetry in weddings?
There's no law of symmetry when in comes to wedding parties. Don't put yourself under the added pressure to fill positions just to even things out. Worried about how photos are going to look? Talk to your photographer. They'll have some great ideas about how to take some amazing photos with your mismatched party. What about walking down or back up the aisle? Shake things up. Two groomsmen can walk with one bridesmaid or vice versa. One attendant can walk with your puppy—or alone. Trust us, an even wedding party isn't necessary.
Can you reciprocate a bridesmaid invitation?
Just because someone invited you to be in her wedding doesn't mean that you must have them in yours. This isn't a dinner party invitation you need to reciprocate. But remember to treat the situation with care, compassion and sensitivity.
Is it better to reconnect with friends or get married?
But there’s no better time to reconnect with friends you might have drifted from than when you’re getting married. The excitement and emotion, plus the planning process, will bring you closer together, and of course, spending one of the most important days of your life with them present will re-solidify your bond.
Do bridesmaids make the wedding?
FYI, bridesmaids do not make the wedding. In fact, for most of us, our wedding days go by so fast, we hardly get to talk to our ‘maids (except when fake-laughing with them for photos). Ask yourself why you feel you need bridesmaids—is it because you genuinely want friends by your side on your big day, or is it simply because you feel like you have to, per some tradition that was invented a hundred years ago? PS, going bridesmaid-free doesn’t mean you don’t have friends. If you’re having a wedding, you have friends—just check out your guest list for proof. Opting out of bridesmaids just means you’re focused on simplifying your wedding a bit, and ensuring that every guest feels extra-special. Because, yeah, when you go for no bridesmaids, every friend sort of becomes one—they’ll all pitch in here and there, and you’ll feel just as surrounded by love as the girls on Instagram rolling 10 bridesmaids deep.
Why do bridesmaids pick their own dresses?
Letting your bridesmaids pick their own dresses for your wedding day means confident bridesmaids and less stress for you. Here are the do’s and don'ts of letting your bridesmaids pick out their own dress.
What does it mean to look good at a wedding?
Confidence. In that same vein, when you look good, you feel good. Let your bridesmaids choose dresses they love (or at least feel comfortable in) and they’ll radiate confidence, not discomfort on your wedding day.
Do bridesmaids wear the same length dresses?
Length. Some brides don’t mind a variety of hemlines—floor-length, knee-length, mini, midi, etc. If you want all of your bridesmaids in the same length dress, let them know. Alternatively, if you really don’t mind different lengths, let them know that, too.
Do bridesmaids wear the same outfit?
While it’s not necessary for the wedding party to wear matching outfits, many couples like to achieve a cohesive look. Traditionally, bridesmaids wear the same dress or outfit. This helps the bride stand out, makes for cohesive photos, and also helps other wedding guests identify the members of the wedding party.
Is it expensive to be a bridesmaid?
Money is often one of the biggest pain points for bridal parties. It’s expensive to be a bridesmaid! You don’t have to worry about settling on a price point that fits into everyone’s budget (or feeling guilty for choosing expensive dresses) if you let your bridesmaids choose their own dresses.
Is too much of anything good for a bridal party?
Confusion. Too much of anything isn’t great—the same is true for bridal party freedom. Without any guidelines at all, you may find yourself answering a lot of texts about what’s OK and what’s not—from materials to color to price to length and more.
Can bridesmaids shop together?
If your bridesmaids don’t live in the same area or can’t make the shopping day, that’s OK. Consider scheduling a Facetime with them as they shop. You can also create a dedicated group chat (if you haven’t already) to dress shopping.
