Common Causes
Part 3 Part 3 of 3: Coping with Triggers to Self-Destructive Behaviors Download Article
- Understand the link between emotions and behaviors. Strong negative emotions such as fear, anxiety, and anger can lead to self-destructive behaviors.
- Do some serious introspection. More than likely, there are triggers that precipitate your self-destructive patterns.
- Make a list of your coping skills. ...
- Tolerate the emotion. ...
- Take care of your health. ...
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What is self-destructive behavior?
- Self-deprecating behavior
- Self-pity
- Self-criticism
- Refusal to believe or have trust in self
- Giving too much importance to what others think or say about you
- Transforming yourself to make others happy
- Comparing yourself to others
- Pessimistic behavior
- Preventing yourself from voicing your opinion
- Unable to accept compliments
How to overcome self destructive behavior?
Parents and professionals confronted with aggressive and self-destructive1behavior of children face a dilemma. The behavior of these children is characterized by boundlessness, uncontrollable outbursts and an increasing tendency to go to extremes.
What are some self destructive behaviors?
Though there is no single driving factor behind self-destructive behavior. The person may have unaddressed trauma or grief in their history. They could have unhealthy habits that have fostered through their general lifestyle. They may be experiencing problems that they do not feel comfortable seeking help with.
What are self destructive behaviours?
Do I have self destructive tendencies?
What causes a person to be self-destructive?
You might be more prone to behave in a self-destructive manner if you've experienced: alcohol or drug use. childhood trauma, neglect, or abandonment. emotional or physical abuse.
What is the root cause of self-destructive behavior?
Causes. Childhood trauma via sexual and physical abuse, as well as disrupted parental care, have been linked with self-destructive behavior. Usually, behavior like this results from the lack of realization of healthy coping mechanisms.
How do I stop self-destructive behavior?
Here's the lowdown: a quick guide to changing these behaviors when you're having trouble.Feel the pain. ... Turn toward the problem. ... Pick one small, distinct change. ... Commit big time. ... Learn to believe that you can. ... Use failure to learn. ... Don't believe the negative self-talk. ... Find support.More items...
What are signs of self destruction?
SignsDepression or Pessimism. The belief that life is bad, and will continue to go badly, is a sign of a self-destructive mentality. ... Avoiding Responsibility. ... Hypersensitivity or Emotional Numbness. ... Compulsion or Addictive Behavior. ... Neediness, Constant Desire for Recognition or Approval. ... Physical Damage.
What is self-destructive BPD?
Self-destructive borderline personality disorder symptoms Intense feelings of self-loathing (self-hatred) Prone to self-harm. Often depressed. Feelings of bitterness. Look for comfort through attention from others.
How do I stop sabotaging myself?
Here are eight tips to stop self-sabotaging:Boost Your Self-Awareness. ... Look Before You Leap. ... Set Meaningful Goals & Pair Them With an Action Plan. ... Make Small Changes. ... Befriend Yourself. ... Know & Embrace Your Strengths. ... Practice Mindfulness. ... Work With a Mental Health Therapist.
What does it mean if you self-sabotage?
Self-sabotage refers to behaviors or thought patterns that hold you back and prevent you from doing what you want to do.
Housing Self-Defeating Mindsets.
This is an unconscious form of self-destructive behavior because it results in self-fulfilling prophecies. Examples include thoughts such as: “I’m...
Failing to Take Action.
This is a passive symptom, but still self-destructive in nature. When we know something is bad for us, but fail to take any action or steps to reme...
Going Out of Your Way to Harm others.
What goes around comes around they say, and the negative influence you have on others, whether by words or deeds, will eventually manifest itself i...
Drug and Alcohol abuse.
A self-evident form of destructive behavior, drug and alcohol abuse creates endless misery in the lives of addicts and their friends and family mem...
Unnecessary Self-Sacrifice.
Some people are in love with their misery because that is all they have known for a large portion of their lives. Unnecessary self-sacrifice is a g...
Sabotaging Relationships.
This is a complex one, and involves a large variety of destructive behaviors such as jealousy, possessiveness, emotional manipulation, neediness, v...
How to overcome self destructive tendencies?
The first step to overcoming self-destructive tendencies is to simply be self-aware of what’s happening. Journaling about your discoveries is a powerful place to begin. The next step is to practice self-care and self-love. Learn how to take care of your body and nurture yourself on an emotional level.
Why is it normal to possess a large majority of self destructive signs?
Why is it normal to possess a large majority of self-destructive signs? The answer is that most people have either been negatively programmed by their family or society or have unconsciously adopted these actions as a defense mechanism to protect against mental and emotional pain. In other words, it’s not your fault and you aren’t to blame. You didn’t choose to be self-destructive, did you? You didn’t think, “hmm, I think I’m going to be self-destructive now,” did you? It’s just what happened.
Why is self sabotaging considered a coping mechanism?
While psychologists speculate that self-sabotaging behaviors could be coping mechanisms (i.e, to deal with stress, pressure, social demands, etc.), others consider self-destructive behavior as ways of maintaining comfort zones due to lack of confidence or feelings of unworthiness (e.g., staying at the familiar bottom of the social ladder).
What are the symptoms of self destructive behavior?
Symptoms and/or habits of self-destructive behavior include the following: 1. Housing self-defeating mindsets. Self-defeating mindsets are unconscious forms of self-destructive behavior because they result in self-fulfilling prophecies.
Why is self pity destructive?
It is destructive because it encourages us to remain inactive (i.e., wallowing in our misfortunes), rather than encouraging a proactive approach towards life.
What is over eating?
Over-eating usually appears as the habit of cramming ourselves full of sugary, fatty, and processed foods. This is a distressing habit that can result in many long-term health issues (not to mention the short-term negative impacts on mood, sleep, creativity, etc.).
Why do people love their misery?
Some people are in love with their misery because that is all they have known for a large portion of their lives. Unnecessary self-sacrifice or being a martyr are good ways of making us feel “noble” and “altruistic” while masking the actual act of self-sabotage (which is giving up on the hopes, dreams, and passions that make us truly happy).
Why do some people seem to engage in pleasurable, but self destructive behaviors when others do not?
It seems that for these individuals pleasures that are immediate outweigh suffering that will occur inevitably down the road.
What are some behaviors that are pleasurable but destructive?
Similar behaviors that seem at the moment pleasurable but are obviously destructive over the long run include: compulsive gambling, philandering, petty thievery, overeating, smoking cigarettes, and so on. Why some people seem to engage in pleasurable, but self-destructive, behaviors when others do not is not so easily explained.
What are some examples of self-defeating behaviors?
There are a host of other such self-defeating behaviors which seem inherently unpleasant—such as procrastination, withdrawal, whining or complaining , and so on, but which are engaged in repeatedly, even compulsively. It is as if these self-defeating behaviors were required to validate a person’s identity.
What is the ability to stubbornly persist in such a way?
Somehow, the ability to stubbornly persist in such a way is fundamental to the way the individual thinks of himself/herself. To behave otherwise is not to be true to oneself. It is this sort of exaggerated willfulness that leads someone to shoot a stranger who has cut in front of him in a line.
Do men and women do self destructive things?
We all know men and women who do self-destructive things—the same things—over and over again. The list of these behaviors seems inexhaustible and extends into every aspect of life: work, friends, family, dating, and so on. Consequently, they suffer disappointment, rejection and failure. Often, they are reduced to being miserable. Not infrequently, they seem to have some insight into their destructive behaviors. They admit to doing “this” and suffering, therefore, from “that.” The connection is plain to them. Still, they do the same things over and over again.
Do habits make life easier?
We accomplish much without having to think about it. Habit makes life easier; but not every habit. However, it seems that people are committed in one way or another to doing the things they have always done in the way they have always done them, whether those behaviors make sense or not.
Can guilt be disproved?
Since everyone has a vague sense of guilt over something or other, these facile explanations can never be disproved. In the meantime, the patient continues to engage in self-destructive behaviors and continues to suffer the consequences. Some self-destructive behaviors are seemingly easy to explain: They feel good.
What does self-destructive BPD look like?
Jacob grew up without his father, who divorced his mother and moved away when he was just a baby. In spite of his mother’s persistent depression and other mental health challenges, Jacob went on to make friends, do well academically, and play football for his high school.
How many subtypes of BPD are there?
Psychologist Theodore Millon identified four subtypes of borderline personality disorder (BPD) as a way to further categorize BPD symptoms. Many people with BPD lean into one or two of these subtypes, while it’s rare to be split equally between the traits of all four.
What subtype is Jacob?
Jacob fell into the self-destructive BPD subtype. Before entering treatment at the Optimum Performance Institute (OPI), he displayed several of the common traits of self-destructive borderline personality disorder:
What is OPI mission?
Our mission at OPI is to help young adults face the mental health challenges holding them back in life. Whether it’s the extremely painful self-destructive BPD subtype, post-traumatic stress disorder, bipolar disorder, or another challenge, we’ll help them manage their struggles, heal from painful experiences, and move forward.
What is a BPD?
Borderline personality disorder, often called BPD, is a personality disorder marked by fear of abandonment and rejection, unstable relationships, mood swings, and impulsive behavior, among many other BPD symptoms.
What therapy did Jacob use?
Of his therapy groups, Jacob felt he benefited most from dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) skills group and learning cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) in his individual sessions. He loved that at OPI, he didn’t feel as much shame for being “the way he was”. He wasn’t alone in these feelings. Instead, he felt supported by other OPI participants and felt more and more hope as he witnessed the progress other borderline patients were making.
Why did Jacob leave OPI?
When Jacob was ready to leave OPI, he had the skills he needed to have healthy interpersonal relationships, a fulfilling career, and a strong sense of self that was more resilient to the punches life would throw at him. And most importantly, he knew he could take these blows and get right back on his feet.
What Causes Self-Destructive Behavior?
The question of what causes self-destructive behavior is an infinitely complex one because of how broad of a category self-destructive behavior is.
How do self destructive behaviors affect people?
A person’s self-destructive behaviors rarely only affect them. They typically spill out into their lives and affect the people around them . Friends, relatives, or lovers may find themselves getting pulled into a helper-helpee relationship with a person who is displaying self-destructive behaviors.
How to help someone with self destructive behavior?
The best way for a person struggling with self-destructive behavior to reach a favorable outcome is through early identification, intervention, and treatment .
What does it mean when someone is self destructive?
A person who engages in self-destructive behavior may not be thinking from a rational or conscious place. They may be addicted to the feelings and feel a compulsion to engage in that behavior.
Why do people substitute healthier coping mechanisms for harmful coping mechanisms?
The person substitutes healthier coping mechanisms for harmful coping mechanisms because it may feel better, may make the person feel more numb, allow the person to mask their genuine feelings, or they may just not know how to cope in a healthy way.
Why is spending unhealthy?
Spending becomes an unhealthy behavior when it starts negatively impacting one’s ability to conduct their life, or if a person feels mentally compelled to spend when they are lacking the means.
What is emotional dysregulation?
Emotional dysregulation is often a driving force behind self-destructive behaviors. It can result from brain injuries, early childhood trauma like neglect and abuse, or a variety of psychiatric disorders and mental illnesses. People with emotional dysregulation may feel emotions with greater intensity or clarity.
What are the characteristics of a self destructive person?
These are ten traits that best identify them. 1. Negative ideas in self-destructive people. Self-destructive ideas include all thoughts intended to devalue someone, prevent their advancement, or belittle their achievements. In the mind of a self-destructive person, these thoughts arise almost automatically.
What is self destructive?
Harming others and self-pity. Self-destructive people often develop hostile or harmful attitudes toward others. They create unnecessary conflicts or are inconsiderate, rude, envious, gossipy, etc. They see others, fundamentally, as a source of confrontation. Other people frustrate them.
Why do people react aggressively to psychologists?
They may react aggressively if they receive advice or someone insinuates that they should change their behavior. These people don’t want to be well, and they’ll keep on acting the same way.
What is the meaning of the self fulfilling prophecy?
Then comes the context for the “self-fulfilling prophecy”: you won’t be able to, you can’t, you won’t achieve it. In this regard, these thoughts are so strong that, in effect, they end up creating that reality. There’s also an approach in which the individual always emphasizes what was missing, what wasn’t perfect, or what he doesn’t have. All this is powerful fuel for self-destruction.
What is passivity in psychology?
In this case, passivity has to do with ceasing to act in the face of a situation or circumstance that causes individual harm. The person recognizes that something negative is happening, but doesn’t do anything to stop it or control its effect. This happens when, for example, we don’t defend ourselves against abuse or aggression.
Why do people forget about their bodies?
Self-destructive people often forget about their own bodies. They don’t do any physical exercise nor give any importance to doing it. Also, they have a negative opinion about their body and , of course, physical pleasure like sexuality. They don’t put effort into their personal appearance. The lack of body care is a manifestation of how little they appreciate themselves .
Is alcohol a self-destructive substance?
The most obvious case is that of excessive drug use, such as alcohol. Addictions are highly self-destructive and, in their extreme degree, always lead to death if there’s no intervention.
What is self destructive behavior?
Self-destructive behaviors are actions that can harm an individual. These actions may be deliberate and planned, but often they are subconscious and impulsive. Therefore, some people are unaware of the damage they are causing both themselves and those who are close to them.
What is the best treatment for self destructive behavior?
Therapy is generally recommended for people who have self-destructive tendencies because rather than simply managing symptoms, it can get to the root of the feelings of shame and guilt that are likely to have caused the harmful behaviors in the first place. A therapist can also help change the way you feel about your life, which is a core part of modalities like cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT).
What are the risks of being depressed?
Being depressed, or experiencing a low mood, can put people at risk of self-sabotaging behaviors such as substance use and suicide attempts.
Why do people avoid solving problems?
Subconsciously, they may avoid solving their problems because they fear responsibility. This pattern of behavior is associated with victim mentality.
What are subtle behaviors?
More subtle behaviors can include ones connected to neediness, seeking reassurance, and seeking approval and recognition. Behaviors like these can become especially dangerous when they lead to actions like as being sexually inappropriate with friends. [2]
Why do people sabotage their lives?
Additionally, some people may engage in self-sabotaging behaviors because they feel insecure. For example, someone might believe that they are overweight, and they may starve themselves or binge and purge in an effort to lose weight (as seen in eating disorders such as anorexia nervosa and bulimia). Often the results are drastic and excessive, and eating disorders can cause malnourishment and other health problems.
What does it mean when someone is impulsive?
If you notice someone who appears to be impulsive, there is a chance that they are also engaging in self-destructive behaviors. Impulsivity is a general trait that can encompass numerous harmful activities.
What does it mean to be self destructive?
1. Reacting with sadness or irritation when something important is achieved. Although it seems strange, a self destructive person feels an unfathomable emptiness when they conquer an important goal. Having fought intensively for the goal, in the end they aren’t able to feel satisfaction when they finally achieve it.
Why don't self destructive people act?
We think that a self-destructive person doesn’t act the way they do because they want to. What usually happens is that they feel bad, but they don’t manage to identify exactly why. So, they develop behaviors that hurt themselves.
Why do people chastise themselves?
It’s as if for them it’s imperative to evade whatever form of wellbeing they might have access to. When they lose big opportunities, because of this apparent forgetfulness or distractions, they find a new reason to go on chastising themselves.
What is the difficulty of being self destructive?
For someone self-destructive nothing is ever enough. Their main difficulty is in feeling satisfaction, particularly with something that they have made for themselves. They focus on the dark speck on the white sheet. If they happen to feel good or you see that they do, they feel annoyed. They will say you’re wrong.
What happens when a person is self destructive?
What happens with a self-destructive person is that they they tell themselves off often for guilty feelings connected with real or imagined things. Here we consider the seven most notable traits of a self-destructive person. In the history of men each act of destruction meets with a response, sooner or later, with an act of creation.
What does the inside voice mean?
Inside is an imperceptible voice that says “something’s going wrong”. And so they turn to flings, obsessions and even abusers, damaging their good relationships. A self-destructive person suffers a lot and makes others suffer. Sometimes the problem is so intractable that they basically live in solitude.
What is the propensity to sacrifice oneself for others?
A propensity to sacrifice oneself for others. Not only is it good, but it can be very constructive to do things for others. However, in the case of a self-destructive person this type of altruistic act takes on another meaning. It seems that they regularly overlook themselves to improve the lives of others.
