What is the difference between a giraffe and a jackal?
In Jackal culture, feelings and wants are severely punished. People are expected to be docile, subservient to authority; slave-like in their reactions, and alienated from their feelings and needs. In a Giraffe culture, we learn to express our feelings, needs, and requests without passing judgment or attacking. We request, rather than demand. And we are aware of the fine line of distinction between these two types of statements.
Why do we need to learn to speak giraffe?
The trouble is that we need to learn how to speak Giraffe in order to effectively communicate in a nonviolent way.
Why is Jackal important to Marshall?
In an attempt to resolve why human beings constantly find themselves in violent dispute, Marshall identified two lenses through which we see and interact with the world – Jackal and Giraffe. “I discovered that the language many of us were taught interferes with our desire to live in harmony with one another. At an early age, most of us were taught to speak and think Jackal. This is a moralistic classification idiom that labels people; it has a splendid vocabulary for analyzing and criticizing. Jackal is good for telling people what's wrong with them: "Obviously, you're emotionally disturbed (or rude, lazy, selfish etc.)”… This language is from the head. It is a way of mentally classifying people into varying shades of good and bad, right and wrong. Ultimately, it provokes defensiveness, resistance, and counterattack.”
What does it mean to speak from the heart?
Speaking from the heart is a gesture of love, giving other people an opportunity to contribute to our well-being and to exercise generosity. Empathetically receiving what is going on in others is a reciprocal gesture. Giraffes experience love as openness and sensitivity, with no demands, criticism, or requirements to fulfil requests at either end of the dispute. And the outcome of any dialogue ruled by love is harmony.
How many parts are in a giraffe request?
Stating a request in simple Giraffe is a four-part process rooted in honesty:
What is nonviolent communication?
The system that Marshall Rosenberg developed – ‘nonviolent communication’ – has become an integral part of conflict resolution both on a macro and micro level, and is an indispensable tool for facilitating clear communication in any form of relationship.
Why is Marshall so famous?
Marshall was famous for the wry and sometimes painfully direct delivery of his material , often using puppets to characterize the communication habits we can become stuck in. This article will draw on some of Marshall’s own writing in order to get the point across just the way he liked to.
Simple Ideas to Transform Coercive Communication Into Compassionate Connection
One of the biggest issues for me as a parent is how I communicate, or not, with my children. With the best of intentions I’ve found myself saying things in ways which seem to actually make things worse and sometimes find it near impossible not to head down the slope of blaming, judging and criticizing.
When Marshall Rosenberg developed NVC, he found himself exploring two major questions
What happens to disconnect us from our compassionate nature, leading us to behave in a violently and exploitatively way?
The NVC Process in Brief
The central aim of NVC is to stay in conscious relationship with another person. The fundamental process has four stages: (1) observation, (2) feelings, (3) needs, and (3) request.
Looking More Closely at the 4-Steps
What do you actually see, hear or remember – ‘the concrete action’ – rather than your interpretation. Think about what a video camera would record. For example, a camera doesn’t show ‘teasing,’ it shows one child taking a toy out of another’s hand. It doesn’t show ‘laziness’, it shows wet towels on the bathroom floor.
What is the NVC method?
The NVC method follow s four fixed paths of discourse in order to project the desired outcome. To make a long story short, the two Jackal responses are “bad” and the two Giraffe response are “good”. Giraffe language is called ‘compassionate communication’.
Why did Rosenberg use sock puppets?
(ref. The Center for Nonviolent Communication). Rosenberg used sock puppets to stress his point – on one hand he used a Jackal and the other, a Giraffe.
Why is NVC used?
As far as humanistic psychology goes, NVC has been used time and time again to effectively derail social movements that governments and organizations seek to neutralize. More attention needs to be given to its presence and power, because it has completely gone unnoticed for the most part.
What happens when a government crackdown is against a nonviolent uprising?
A violent uprising can end up polarizing people in support of the government, whereas a government crackdown against a nonviolent uprising will often reduce public support for the regime .” [ Ref]
What is giraffe language?
Giraffe language is called ‘compassionate communication’ . It uses a manipulation technique called Subjective Validation in order to work. Again, these techniques are designed to bypass reason and experience, and capitalize on feelings and emotions.
How to counter NVC?
Upon detection, it is relatively easy to counter by simply (and ironically), not complying with discourse. Begin by shunning the person using NVC, offer your disgust and cut off all communication. Just walk away. If others are around, you could also add “I’m not going to speak with someone that is knowingly using a manipulation technique in order to control my decisions” – still, it may be better to say nothing at all.
What is non-violence in the context of violence?
Violence is defined as ‘aggressive physical action’ or force used to cause physical damage or injury. Non-violence (which is incorrectly described by Wikipedia as a ‘Sanskrit’ word) is a form of perceivable ‘non-action’ (considered ‘harmless’) or mental manipulation that plays on the feelings and sympathies of others, ...
What is NVC in the context of judgment?
NVC advocates that, in order to cultivate a deeper understanding of each other, the parties should express themselves in objective and neutral terms, (preferring factual observations about feelings and needs) rather than in judgmental terms (such as good versus bad, right versus wrong, or fair versus unfair).
Why is NVC called giraffe language?
It is a moralizing, violent and manipulative use of language, that tends towards psychic terror. The reason why it also is called Giraffe language is that the Giraffe´s heart is so big.
Why is Rosenberg critical thinking poisoned?
And this “critical thinking” is poisoned by a number of thought distortions, precisely because he abjures thoughts, and therefore the possibility of clarifying them.
What is the NVC model?
The two modes of use of the NVC model are: 1) Empathy, including both self-empathy, and empathy for another. 2) Honest self-expression, including “please” (request) and “thank you” (gratitude).
Why did Rosenberg create NVC?
Rosenberg further states that he developed NVC as a way to “get conscious of” what he calls “Beloved Divine Energy”.
What is NVC theory?
NVC theory supposes all human behaviour stems from attempts to meet a small set of human needs. Needs are believed never to be in conflict.
What is nonviolent communication?
Nonviolent Communication is an Instrument of Psychic Terror. Nonviolent communication (NVC, also called compassionate communication, or Giraffe language) is a communication process developed by Marshall Rosenberg in the 1960s and 70s. As many other self-help direction it is inspired by the so-called Humanistic psychology ...
Nonviolent Communication – An Easy Model For Conflict-Solving
Language of The Giraffe – Language of The Jackal
- NVC uses two animals as symbols. The giraffe is the land animal with the biggest heart and stands for compassionate communication. The second animal is the jackal, representing competition. Jackal language is about judging, criticising, analysing, moralising and accusing. When we feel unfairly treated, accused or when we want to impose our wishes, ...
4 Steps to Successfully Applying NVC
- 1. Observe what is happening and describe the situation without judgement: I see ... / I hear ... / the situation is ... 2. Identify / express your feelings: Then I feel ... 3. Find the need behind your feeling: My need is ... / because I would like ... / I desire ... / I need ... 4. Formulate a clear, positive, doable request: Please will you ... / are you willing to do this ...?
How The Process Works
- Step 1: Most of our descriptions contain judgements. So you have to separate the observed behaviour from your judgement and reframe the judgement into a pure observation: Jackal: “He is so rude.” Giraffe: “When I said “hello”, he looked in another direction.” Jackal: “Sarah is not at all able to manage her team.” Giraffe: “Sarah has explained the new strategy and has been interrup…
Improve Workplace Morale with NVC
- By practising NVC, managers and employees can gain effective communication skills to resolve conflicts, enhance cooperation and improve the working atmosphere. People learn to clarify what they are observing, what they are feeling and what they want to ask of themselves and others. They will feel the pleasure of improving one another’s well-being. Sources: Rosenberg, M.B. (20…