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do you send flowers to the deceased or the family

by Prof. Vidal Schaefer I Published 3 years ago Updated 2 years ago
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If you're close family or knew the deceased very well, it's customary to send flowers for the visitation and funeral and in some cases, even to the family's home. If you're more an acquaintance, work colleague, distant friend, etc then sending sympathy flowers to their home or the viewing is a polite thing to do.

If you are a member of the immediate family, you can send the flowers to the funeral home or church or you can bring them yourself. If you are an extended family member, you should have them delivered. Messages on the cards of funeral flowers should address the deceased directly instead of his or her family.Apr 18, 2020

Full Answer

Are funeral flowers for the deceased or family?

While it's tempting to think that they're two ways of describing the same thing, that's not the case at all. Funeral Flowers are the flowers you send to the funeral home or the place at which the funeral is held. When you send funeral flowers, the arrangement is a way of honoring or remembering the deceased.

What is the etiquette for sending sympathy flowers?

There are no rules for timing the delivery of flowers, but it's good to get them to the bereaved as soon as possible—either at home, to the house of worship, or to the funeral home in time for the visitation or funeral.

Do you send sympathy flowers to family members?

While most people choose to express their condolences by sending sympathy flowers to the family of the deceased, some types of gifts can also be appropriate. Potted plants, such as orchids, peace lilies, and dish gardens, are a welcome and suitable choice.

When sending flowers for a funeral who is the recipient?

close family membersWho Should Receive Funeral Flowers? The deceased's close family members tend to be the recipient of the most flowers. However, it is also appropriate to send flowers to the deceased's relatives — especially those you are close to. Floral arrangements bring comfort, joy, and reassurance.

What kind of flowers do you give someone who lost a loved one?

Bereavement Ceremony: Fresh Cut Sympathy Bouquets They are the most widely accepted form of condolence and are commonly sent as sympathy offerings because they signify peace, purity and love. Consider sending white bouquets with orchids, roses, irises, or lilies to a bereavement ceremony to show your love and support.

How much should you spend on sympathy flowers?

How much should you spend on sympathy flowers delivery? It is common to pay between $60 and $80 on a medium sized sympathy flower arrangement. Larger wreaths or casket sprays usually start at $90 to $100 and more depending on your size and sympathy flower type preferences.

What do you give when someone dies?

What to Send When Someone Dies?Send a sympathy card with a sympathy message. ... Send a beautiful sympathy basket full of gourmet foods and specialized treats. ... Send a flower bouquet for a funeral. ... Send a memorial contribution to help pay for memorial expenses. ... Send a keepsake gift box. ... Send comfort food.More items...•

What Colour flowers do you send for sympathy?

White is universally recognised to represent mourning as it symbolises peace, purity and love. White flowers including lilies, roses and chrysanthemums all make excellent choices for sympathy flowers.

Why do we give flowers when someone dies?

First, they do it as a means of expression. Since it can be difficult for those in mourning to put their feelings into words, flowers can act as an expression of love, comfort, sympathy, and respect. Flowers also create a background of warmth and beauty, adding to the dignity and consolation of the funeral service.

Do you write the persons name on funeral flowers?

The flowers should be addressed with the name of the deceased, name of faculty (funeral home, church, nursing home chapel etc.) and street address of faculty. The delivery should be sent to the first event of the funeral ( i.e wake or visitation before the funeral service).

Where should funeral flowers be sent?

Friends have the option of sending the flowers directly to the funeral home or to the home of the family member. It is also appropriate for business associates to have the flowers delivered to the office of the family member.

What message do you put on funeral flowers?

With heartfelt condolences. Gone but not forgotten. 'Til we meet again. Sending love your way.

What is the best condolence message?

My sincerest condolences for you at this time. You have my deepest sympathy and unwavering support. Wishing you peace, comfort, courage, and lots of love at this time of sorrow. My heart goes out to you at this difficult time.

What do you write on a card for funeral flowers?

We've included some short, sweet examples below:Rest in peace.Always in our hearts.Sleep peacefully.Forever in our hearts.In loving memory.So sorry for your loss.With deepest sympathy.With fondest memories.More items...

What color roses do you send for sympathy?

Red flowers signify strength, respect, devotion and love. Blue flowers represent sadness, sympathy and peace.

What to send after someone dies?

What to Send When Someone Dies?Send a sympathy card with a sympathy message. ... Send a beautiful sympathy basket full of gourmet foods and specialized treats. ... Send a flower bouquet for a funeral. ... Send a memorial contribution to help pay for memorial expenses. ... Send a keepsake gift box. ... Send comfort food.More items...•

Purpose of Viewing and Funeral

After the passing on of a loved one, it is most often preceded by viewing and then a funeral. The purpose why a viewing and a funeral is often organised is for friends and families to come together to celebrate the life of the deceased. Although a view or a funeral is called a celebration, it is more of a sad celebration than a happy one.

The General Etiquette of Viewing and Funeral

The following are some basic questions that a lot of people do ask about viewing and funeral, and some general etiquette that can be applied to it. Having an idea of this etiquette is essential to ensuring that you know what is expected of you to do during the viewing and funeral.

What to send to a family member who has died?

Close friends and business associates of the family of the deceased may want to send flowers to show that they are thinking of them during their time of grief. Some of the best floral arrangement for friends to send include standing sprays, wreaths, basket arrangements, bouquets in vases, and live plants that can go home with the family after the funeral. Friends have the option of sending the flowers directly to the funeral home or to the home of the family member.

Why do people send flowers at funerals?

Reason to Send Flowers. The purpose of flowers at a funeral is to celebrate life. Whether the floral arrangement is formal or informal, it should provide comfort and help lift the mood of the family of the deceased and show that you care.

What religion is the most appropriate for flowers?

If you aren’t sure, ask the closest family member you know. Common practices according to faith: Catholic – Most flowers and arrangements are acceptable. Protestant Christian – Most flowers and arrangements are welcome at both the memorial service and the funeral. Mormon – Most flowers are appropriate.

Where do you put flowers on a casket?

Keep in mind that flowers from family are typically placed closest to the casket during the viewing or wake. In some cases they may be inside the casket with the deceased. A casket spray or wreath is generally from the immediate family.

Should I send flowers to a Hindu funeral?

If you are in doubt, you should probably refrain from sending flowers and opt for a fruit basket sent to the home of the family instead. Baha’i – Most flowers and arrangements are appropriate. Buddhist – Most flowers and arrangements are appropriate. Hindu – Although floral arrangements are acceptable, garlands are more common at a Hindu funeral.

Can you send flowers to a Jewish funeral?

Jewish – Although you may send flowers to the family members’ homes, flowers at the funeral home are not typically displayed. Some of the more contemporary Jewish funerals allow flowers at the entrance of the synagogue. If you are in doubt, you should probably refrain from sending flowers and opt for a fruit basket sent to the home ...

Who is Debby Mayne?

Debby Mayne is an etiquette expert and writer with 25+ years of experience. She covers professional, social, children's, wedding, and funeral etiquette.

What are the most popular flowers for funerals?

Here are some of the most traditional funeral flowers: 1 Carnations are the most popular funeral flower because of their wide variety of colors and their longevity. Many funeral flower arrangements feature carnations, either as the main flower or as a supporting flower. They’re also highly fragrant and perfect for sympathy flower arrangements. 2 Gladioli are popular flowers for large arrangements like standing sprays and casket sprays. Gladioli are a good flower choice for immediate family members and close friends to include in their funeral flower arrangements. 3 Lilies are another popular choice, and their graceful shape makes them appropriate in any situation. 4 Roses make for beautiful floral arrangements, especially for someone who you loved dearly or deeply respected. 5 Chrysanthemums, or “mums” are used specifically for funerals in some cultures. They indicate deep feelings of loss, grief, and sympathy.

How long after a funeral can you send flowers?

A few weeks, or even a few months after the funeral, you can send the family a floral arrangement with a heartfelt sympathy note attached. Alternatively, you could take some time out to deliver an arrangement of grave flowers to the cemetery.

Why is it important to send flowers at a funeral?

It’s important to send funeral flowers at the right time, to the right place, and in the right situations. And if you’re planning to send a sympathy arrangement, it’s a good idea to be aware of the conventions and courtesies surrounding funeral flowers.

What flowers are used for funerals?

Here are some of the most traditional funeral flowers: Carnations are the most popular funeral flower because of their wide variety of colors and their longevity. Many funeral flower arrangements feature carnations, either as the main flower or as a supporting flower.

Where to send sympathy flowers?

You can send sympathy flowers to the family’s home if you’re a close family member or friend. The memorial or funeral location. If you’re sending funeral flowers for display at the funeral, viewing, or memorial itself, it’s usually best to send them to the location directly.

What to check on a funeral invitation?

As previously mentioned, it’s always important to check the death announcement (obituary) and the funeral invitation for information regarding funeral flowers.

What to say in a sympathy note?

If you want to add more to your sympathy note, you should feel free to express your condolences. Often, a simple, “I’m sorry for your loss,” can go a long way.

What Can You Send if You Feel It’s Too Late to Send Flowers?

You may have had good intentions, but you did not follow through with sending flowers for a friend’s funeral. Maybe the family specifically asked that donations to a charity be made in lieu of flowers. Here are some other gift ideas to give to someone who is grieving a loss.

What to do if you can't attend a funeral?

Send flowers (or a plant) to a funeral if you cannot attend. This tells the family that you would like to offer sympathy for their loss even though you won’t be at the funeral.

How to personalize a gift?

Personalize the gift by having it engraved. Choose an image off of social media to place in the frame for your friend.

When do you send flowers to a funeral home?

This is assuming that a visitation or funeral will occur within that building and scheduled within the week.

Do funeral flowers look fresh?

Funeral flowers and plants are displayed at the service. They are pleasant distractions and can beautify the surroundings. When you make arrangements for the delivery, let the local florist know when the funeral will occur so the stems can look fresh for the service. Here are some situations to consider. Send flowers to a funeral ...

Where to leave flowers at a funeral?

You can leave flower arrangements at the grave of the deceased. While some families take the flowers home or to local churches or nursing homes for others to enjoy, a family inundated with flowers may simply choose to leave them in the cemetery. Usually, the cemetery staff disposes of these items within a week of the funeral. If you want to purchase something that the family would enjoy for a more extended time, consider purchasing a houseplant.

Can you send a houseplant to a funeral home?

Sometimes families have to travel a great distance to attend the funeral of their loved ones. If you would like to send a houseplant for the family to keep, send the plant to the family’s home address after the funeral occurs.

What to do when a friend dies?

When a friend, relative, coworker, or acquaintance dies, it is common to send the family a gift of funeral flowers (also known as condolence flowers or sympathy flowers). Thanks to online ordering options, you can do this in a few minutes and wit... more »

What is a sympathy flower?

The nice thing about sympathy flowers is that they are always appropriate. Whether you are dealing with the death of a loved one, news of a terminal diagnosis, or any kind of life tragedy, a bouquet that shows your love and sympathy can be sent at any time.

What to send to someone who is in mourning?

Cookies, cakes, and other home-baked goods might also be appropriate to send at this time. So too might a personalized card, a favorite photo of the deceased, or a custom care package to help support those in mourning. And if you cannot rid yourself of the idea of sympathy flowers being included, a bouquet or arrangement to go along with them will be sure to brighten your loved one’s day.

Why do people have funeral traditions?

Funeral planning traditions exist for a reason—to provide a time-honored and familiar ritual for those who are lost in their bereavement. People derive quite a bit of comfort from familiarity, and even though funerals tend to be somber affairs, the... more »

Can you send flowers to a funeral?

If the funeral or memorial service has already taken place (or if the family is skipping this tradition), then you still have options regarding a sympathy gift. Although you can send flowers, many people opt instead to send a food basket, plant, or other memorial gift instead. This type of gift typically costs about the same amount of money, but provides more than simple decor to display at the funeral. In fact, food and memorial gifts are often welcome in the weeks after death occurs, as they provide a physical service while also showing your love.

What to send for a funeral?

What to Send: Funeral Flowers Etiquette. When it comes to sending an appropriate condolence gift, the most common is to send flowers as a small or large bouquet, planter, spray, or wreath. Flowers represent growth and new life and can give a sense of beauty and comfort to an otherwise somber environment.

What to do at a visitation?

The visitation or wake, typically occurs a day or two before the funeral. It is a time to express sympathy and may also provide closure for grieving loved ones. This ritual is common among Catholic and Protestant faiths, and those that attend include close family and friends, distant relatives, neighbors, and acquaintances. When entering the visitation, be sure to approach the family and pass on your sympathies for their loss during this trying time. If there is an open casket, while not mandatory, it is a sign of respect to view the deceased and offer a silent prayer. Guest books are usually on a table at the room’s entrance and should be signed so the family has all names and addresses when it comes to writing thank you notes. If you live out-of-town and/or unable to attend, a short phone call or email (in the case of acquaintances) should be made or sent to express condolences and many send flowers for visitation occasions. If you're wondering do I send flowers to visitation or funerals? Yes, it's very common and considered good funeral visitation etiquette to send flowers ahead of time with a personal message to at least one if not both.

What to say to someone who lost a loved one?

Knowing exactly what to say to someone at a time when he or she has just lost a loved one, may seem daunting. Most often a simple “I’m so sorry for your loss” is enough. More than anything, you want to express that you are there for the person and his or her family throughout this hardship. Sharing a special memory of the deceased or an endearing quality about the deceased can also be appropriate.

What should I wear to a ritual?

Proper Attire at Rituals. Black is perhaps the most well-known color to wear, however dark blue and gray are also acceptable colors. Women should wear dresses, long skirts or dress pants, with shoulders covered. Men should also follow the semi-formal style in a suit and tie, and perhaps a jacket as well.

Do you send flowers to a funeral?

If you're close family or knew the deceased very well, it's customary to send flowers for the visitation and funeral and in some cases, even to the family's home. If you're more an acquaintance, work colleague, distant friend, etc then sending sympathy flowers to their home or the viewing is a polite thing to do. Don't feel obligated to do both, one or the other is fine. If you're wondering how to send flowers to a wake, this same list applies.

Where is a funeral held?

Depending on the faith, the funeral or memorial service may be held at a church, temple, funeral home, or even the residence.

Can you have flowers delivered at a funeral?

Florists try to deliver funeral deliveries, all deliveries really, with flowers that aren't entirely open yet. This ensures that the flowers are as fresh as possible and will last longer. If you want a fully blossomed floral arrangement, don't be afraid to have your oder delivered an entire day early and just pre-set it. Just confirm with the funeral home that this is ok and ask if special instructions are required prior to the delivery.

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Reason to Send Flowers

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The purpose of flowers at a funeral is to celebrate life. Whether the floral arrangement is formal or informal, it should provide comfort and help lift the mood of the family of the deceased and show that you care. However, avoid anything too light or silly, such as balloons or stuffed animals on a stick in the arrangement…
See more on thespruce.com

Regarding Faith

  • You will also want to take the faith and culture of the deceased into consideration before sending flowers. What may be appropriate for one culture may be inappropriate for another. If you aren’t sure, ask the closest family member you know. Common practices according to faith: 1. Catholic– Most flowers and arrangements are acceptable. 2. Protestant Christian – Most flowers and arran…
See more on thespruce.com

Members of The Immediate Family

  • Husbands, wives, children, sisters, brothers, parents, and grandparents may order any type of floral arrangement they like. However, there are certain types that are reserved for immediate family members. Keep in mind that flowers from family are typically placed closest to the casket during the viewing or wake. In some cases they may be inside the casket with the deceased. A …
See more on thespruce.com

Extended Family Members

  • Other members of the family such as aunts, uncles, nieces, nephews, cousins, and even close friends also have a wide range of options. The traditional standing spray is often chosen for the most impact. Informal arrangements are good options because they can go home with the immediate family or taken to the cemetery.
See more on thespruce.com

Close Friends and Business Associates

  • Close friends and business associates of the family of the deceased may want to send flowers to show that they are thinking of them during their time of grief. Some of the best floral arrangement for friends to send include standing sprays, wreaths, basket arrangements, bouquets in vases, and live plants that can go home with the family after the funeral. Friends have the option of sen…
See more on thespruce.com

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