how can i be intentional in my relationship

^{5 Tips to Help You Be Intentional in Your Relationships}

• Prioritize people. “Most of us spend too much time on what is urgent and not enough time on what is important.” That’s a little convicting.
• Learn their love language. My kids, I’m sure, will roll their eyes if they read this. ...
• Let them know that you’re thinking about them. God often prompts us to think of people. He uses us to be an encouragement to others, if you let him.
• Celebrate them! People love to be celebrated. Remember their birthday’s. Today, this is easy with Facebook giving us reminders of when to say Happy Birthday.
• Celebrate, and mourn, with them. Of course there is a difference between celebrating them and celebrating with them. Celebrating with them, or mourning with them, is doing life with them.

Why are we afraid of intentional relationships?

I think sometimes we are afraid to be intentional in our relationships because we fear what people might think when we do life together. Don’t be. Being real with others is a necessary part of building a relationship. A friend (and especially a spouse) knows your ugly thoughts and habits and loves you anyway.

What does it take to have a good relationship with your spouse?

What does it take to have good relationships with your spouse, your kids, your friends? It takes being intentional. Being intentional in your relationships is a skill that takes work and practice. It doesn’t happen naturally, usually, but can become a habit if we foster it.

How to make someone feel important?

Making someone feel important by really being with them should come before our own interests. That will all be there tomorrow. Ask questions of the other person. It is a well known fact that people like to talk about themselves. When you engage your kids, your spouse, or your friends and family, ask them questions.

How to let others know you are thinking of them?

As a side note to letting others know you are thinking of them, if you are a believer in Jesus, this can be a discipline in listening to the Spirit. The Spirit will often prompt us to think of others. Not only is the other person blessed by your obedience to the Spirit, but you will be, too. Develop this discipline.

Start Small

A first simple way to be intentional in marriage is to pick one thing you will be intentional about. You did read “one thing” right? My one thing right now is reading. I know that doesn’t sound like a relationship topic, but I am specifically going to be intentional about reading the best books and articles I can find about relationships.

Set Reminders

A second way to be intentional is to remind yourself to be intentional. Have you ever had the best intentions, but didn’t follow through? Sometimes we need a cue to remind us to follow through. So, create a cue to help you be intentional.

Manage your impulsiveness

A third way to be intentional is to practice managing your impulsiveness. SLOW YOURSELF DOWN! Take deep breaths. Monitor you emotions. Examine your thoughts. This does not sound easy or simple does it? That’s why I use the word PRACTICE. You may have to use the second intentional idea to help you with the third.

Be positive and use your words wisely

A fourth way to be intentional is with your words. Be intentional to say positive things to your partner or spouse. In John Gottman’s research on healthy marriages, he found that for every one negative interaction a healthy couple has they have five positive interactions.

Touch More

A fifth way to to be intentional in your marriage is to touch more. A simple hug, kiss, or light touch on the back or arm can be very healthy in a relationship. When a couple touches it increases the release of Oxycontin (the bonding hormone). You will feel closer the more you touch.

How to make a relationship a priority?

Three tips to help you make your relationship a priority: 1 The Date Claimer | When life is busy and couple time gets crowded out, look for opportunities to ‘claim a date’. For example, we often claim a ‘driving date’ when one of the kids needs a pick up from a friend’s house. It only needs one person to do the chore, but by doing it together, it gives us some precious time together. 2 EDRs = Essential Daily Rituals | EDR’s form the bedrock of a healthy relationship. Establish a simple, daily routine that operates as a connection ritual. For example, we like to walk around the block after dinner. It’s our time to debrief without interruptions… and, we get some exercise too! 3 Quantity Time | When life is busy we often justify our relationship neglect with plans for intensive ‘quality time’. The truth is, quality time doesn’t happen in isolation. You can’t just show up for a big romantic date and get into the mood in a snap if you’ve barely connected all week. Relationships need time; leisurely, wasteful time. So pay attention to the low intensity ‘quantity time’ you have together.

What does it mean to be proactive in a relationship?

Being proactive in your relationship means setting relationship goals, actively seeking skills and education to become more effective lovers, and regularly reflecting on your relationship to update your goals.

Who are Francine and Byron Pirola?

Francine & Byron Pirola are the founders and principal authors of the SmartLoving series. They are passionate about living Catholic marriage to the full and helping couples reach their marital potential. They have been married since 1988 and have five children. Their articles may be reproduced for non commercial purposes with appropriate acknowledgement and back links.

Is intentional marriage a Christian responsibility?

God meets us in and through our relationships. Christian marriage is not just a mutually convenient living arrangement, it’s a vocation.

Choosing Mindfulness Over Mindlessness

I’ve been with my partner for a little over a year and a half. I know, I know …. those of you who have been together for years or decades will probably grin and think something along the lines of “you’re in the honeymoon phase still!” I get it. I was married for almost twelve years, so I’m not naïve about how relationships can evolve over time.

Takeaways of a Mindful Relationship

Since I’ve chosen to “see people” and “be intentional in my time” with the people in my life, ALL of my relationships have been elevated! My experiences with my children are richer, my boundaries with unhealthy or difficult relationships are easier to keep, and my time on my own is more meaningful.

How to Make it happen

Now, I am going to propose something that many may not agree with, and that’s okay. Just hear me out. IT’S OKAY TO SCHEDULE YOUR ACTS OF LOVE! Yes, I mean literally schedule them.

Discover Their Love Language

Need some ideas on how to be intentional? First and foremost, make sure you know how they enjoy receiving love. It does not mean that you always have to show love in this way, but it would benefit both of you if you did it often. Buying your spouse lots of gifts when their love language is words of affirmation may be a set up for failure.